good concept for a ps?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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good concept for a ps?

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Oct 09, 2013 1:11 pm

This is by no means the personal statement. I just jotted down ideas

My cellphone rings, and a voice says, "Your grandmother has passed away.” For the last months of her life, my grandmother lived in pain and suffering that she never even saw the outside of a hospital. My grandmother had slipped and fell. A few months after her accident, a hip replacement surgery gone wrong was the cause of her death. The doctors had made a mistake with her operation. This devastating experience would later become my main motivation behind my dreams and aspirations.
My grandmother’s death was a result of carelessness and negligence. She still would be alive had been malpractice not been committed. This was unjust and undeserved by our family. We felt cheated out of our grandmother’s life. This couldn’t have been only our family who were also deprived of a loved one due to the carelessness of a doctor. Days after my grandmothers death, with permission of the hospital, I went door to door in the hospital and asked patients about how they were treated by the doctors in the hospital. I wanted to see for myself the quality of the treatment treatment that patients had received. From the weeks of my research I conducted, I concluded that negligence was a common phenomenon
My father hired an attorney to file a lawsuit against the medical malpractice committed. For months, my family was comforted by the words of an attorney who we thought was doing his job. He had filled us with home to find relief and in the end we found out that he also had not been doing his job at all. He had overbilled us


I want to lead this into showing how malpractice got me interested in law and I want to be an attorney so that people can find remedy for situations similar to mine

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Re: good concept for a ps?

Postby AnonymousAlterEgoC » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:03 pm

I think it can work but it needs to be made personal

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Re: good concept for a ps?

Postby rinkrat19 » Wed Oct 09, 2013 3:12 pm

So far, this PS is not about you. There are ways to write about family legal troubles or the loss of a family member that are very personal, but so far, this isn't.

Write from your own perspective, looking through the MEMEMEMEME! filter of how everything affected YOU, taught YOU something, made YOU change, etc.

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