First Draft Personal Statement

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First Draft Personal Statement

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:16 pm

Okay, so this is a first draft. In my opinion, it is very choppy and the intro and conclusion are pretty freaking awful. I would really appreciate any advice, criticism, or comments(even really bad ones.) Don't be easy on me, please.

I could spend these precious few words detailing the struggles that I battled as a child and young adult; but in my mind, all that matters is that in 2009 I overcame those struggles with the help of one of the most brilliant instructors I have ever encountered. He ended my despair and gave me the blueprint for happiness: work hard at what you love and never let what you cannot control get you down.

I first fell in love with the law while searching for my undergraduate major. I was struggling to find my niche in life and taking courses in just about anything caught my eye while working through my basics. I was running out of time. I had only a few required courses left and I had left the ones I thought to be the least interesting until the very end, resulting in two political science courses in the same semester. I had never had any love or pride for our country or legal system; in fact I rather despised them. The classes were huge and the instructors mediocre. But they used the same book, The New American Democracy. The required reading in each course hardly overlapped so I read the entire thing and it transformed me.

It was like lightning struck and the world made sense. The law is my passion. I love everything about it. Law is constantly evolving to fit society which makes it a very stimulating subject. I love the purpose of law as the organizational mechanism that holds society together; it determines what is acceptable in society and how different people interact together in all aspects of life. I even love how my brain organizes different legal concepts similar to a huge network of complex parameters where you have to use the rules just right to win. More than anything, I love using knowledge of the law to argue for and defend what is right.

My whole life has been preparing me for a career in law and I never even knew it. As a child, my when my mother said to mop the floor, that meant get down on your hands and knees and scrub the floor. That level of work ethic has seeped into every aspect of my life, first only with my jobs, but after I discovered my passion, it also affected my studies immensely. I enjoy and take pride in working hard especially when that work helps others in a way that they cannot help themselves. Starting at a young age, I filled the role of mediator; I was always the one to settle disputes and give advice because I have a knack for looking at the whole situation instead of just the pieces presented. I am a problem solver, always have been and always will be because I love to help others and I love to use logic and facts to create answers.

My blueprint for happiness includes a legal career and hard work but it also includes a desire for a sense of community, diversity, and opportunity. The University of Texas is my dream school for exactly those reasons. The curriculum is intense with a wide variety of options in coursework but is balanced with networking and building relationships with other students all while offering the knowledge and prestige to practice anywhere in the country.

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Re: First Draft Personal Statement

Postby mandyjay11 » Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:20 pm

Stopped at the first sentence, I don't like that opener.

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