DS draft, rip it a new one

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
some1uknown
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:20 am

DS draft, rip it a new one

Postby some1uknown » Wed Sep 25, 2013 8:07 pm

I’ve never been sure why, but I’ve noticed my life has been a constant uphill battle. Some battles I’ve managed to win and some I have lost. However, these battles have managed to shape my view and personality. While there have been many different obstacles in my life, the main obstacle was overcoming the fear of living at home.
One of my earliest memories is the domestic violence occurring between my parents. At the time, I was only four years old and did not know much about the dynamic of relationships. However, many of the events at the time still live with me today. I remember my parents were constantly yelling and screaming at each other every day. At first glance the constant yelling and screaming may not seem like much. However, the constant yelling and screaming eventually lead to a physical confrontation. This memory has replayed over and over in my mind even today. I remember seeing my father beat my mother. I remember the cries of help from my mother. I remember the helplessness as I looked at the phone unsure of what to do or how to proceed. The feeling of helplessness is one that still remains with me today. The memories of her scream for help and the beating itself still follow me today. The night ended finally when my mother managed to break free and dial 911 for help. For a brief period of time, there was peace. No more fighting, no more screaming, just silence. Many months later, I remember being in the court room as my mother asked the judge to be merciful with my father’s sentencing. My mother at the time was pleading with me to not say anything which would result in my father getting extended jail time. I remember crying to the judge asking for a lighter sentencing. My father spent three days in jail as a result. At first glance, this appeared to resolve much of the issue between the two. My father no longer physically beat my mother. Much of the fighting between the two of them stopped.
Over time however, my parents would argue or fight over some issue. From witnessing the fight as a child, I stood by my mother’s side whenever there was a conflict. Rather than physically beating my mother, my father would resort to other methods to “win” the fight. He would tamper with her car to prevent her from going anywhere, disconnect her cell phone from working etc. By taking my mother’s side, many times I was a recipient of my father’s method as well. Many times I was unsure whether or not I would have warm water while showering during the winter. Despite the consequences, I was never discouraged from sticking with my mother and trying to assist her through the difficulty of the situation. My willingness to stand with my mother came from my previous feeling of helplessness as a child.
Growing up in such a household is an experience I will never completely forget. The feelings of anger and helplessness are ones that will live with me and continue to live with me. The memory of the night my father beat my mother still remains in the very back of my memories. While difficult, I’ve worked to overcome letting my memories of the past overcome me at moments of conflict with my father. I may not be able to change what happened between my father and I; however I can take actions to improve my circumstances.

User avatar
Ramius
Posts: 2005
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:39 am

Re: DS draft, rip it a new one

Postby Ramius » Thu Sep 26, 2013 7:34 am

This should not be used as your DS. While the experience is definitely a somewhat unique one, the voice and tone you use to describe the events bleed through in horrible ways. If I'm the ADCOM, I don't want to read about the issues you've had with your father growing up, however germane they might be in shaping who you are today. You make quite clear the anger and resentment you hold toward your father (which I'm not saying are somehow unfounded), but the DS is not your opportunity to unload your emotional baggage on a complete stranger. If you want to use the events, you need to be much more analytical and less emotionally charged describing how growing up in a home filled with domestic abuse has brought a unique view of the world for you. The key to that would need to be how it positively affected you, vice what you wrote here. How has that experience made you a better person? What have you done in response to those events that highlight a positive quality about you?

Think of it like this: you're in the market for fruit, so naturally you go to the market. While combing over the pile of apples, you notice two in particular. One is absolutely beautiful, looking as crisp and delicious as if it were picked off a tree behind the market. Right next to it is the most rotted, bruised, disheveled apple of the bunch. Even if the beautiful apple ended up having a rotten core (please understand I'm not saying you actually have a rotten core, but just that the way this reads, you have an ugly past driving you internally), which one would you pick?

In the law school game, you always have to be the mouth-watering apple, regardless of any imperfections underneath.

some1uknown
Posts: 34
Joined: Thu Sep 01, 2011 3:20 am

Re: DS draft, rip it a new one

Postby some1uknown » Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:07 pm

Ok then, so instead of going through the details of everything, I should just briefly mention it and explain how it brings a unique view.




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.