Diversity Statement Usable?

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zen
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Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby zen » Sun Sep 15, 2013 3:06 am

...
Last edited by zen on Sat Mar 15, 2014 5:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mwhuzain
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby mwhuzain » Sun Sep 15, 2013 4:57 am

zen wrote:I could have been a part of the crowd – just another upper-middle class Asian applying to law school. I could have been and for a long time that was exactly what I was as my father was an executive at one of the largest hotel and golf course companies in Japan. That is until the day that the company that my father worked at went bankrupt and my world came tumbling down. From that day on, I learned firsthand what a drastic change of circumstances can cause in someone’s life.
We went from not having to really worry about money at all to suddenly having to strongly weigh it in our decisions. Beyond monetary concerns, though, it affected our family’s social and family footing. I got to witness superficiality as a great deal of our family friends stopped associating with us as we now didn’t have the social status that we used to. In addition, I experienced betrayal since the entire family on my dad’s side refused to lend us any help emotional or monetary at all, more or less telling my parents to suck it up. But what hurt the most was when the stress of unemployment, financial concerns, and a law suit due to the bankruptcy nearly tore my parents apart.
With the bad, though, came good. I saw the true power of family and true friendship as my mother’s side of the family immediately stepped in to help out anyway they could even though they weren’t the wealthiest folks and became the bond and safety net that we needed in order to persevere. Furthermore, I saw firsthand the sacrifice that parents will make for their children – the depths of which I wouldn’t have believed before – one of which was to stay together for my brother and me.
Abruptly going from a secure financial position to one where money holds so much importance has taught me many lessons both good and bad which have helped shape my perspective on life. I could have just been a part of the herd, but I’m not and I am better for it.


I liked it. You clearly grew from your experience. I would just take "Asian" out, especially since mentioning Japan makes it redundant. I understand why it's there, but just because Asians tend to be part of the middle to upper class and educated doesn't mean that you would've just been a "part of the herd."

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zen
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby zen » Sun Sep 15, 2013 4:33 pm

mwhuzain wrote:
I liked it. You clearly grew from your experience. I would just take "Asian" out, especially since mentioning Japan makes it redundant. I understand why it's there, but just because Asians tend to be part of the middle to upper class and educated doesn't mean that you would've just been a "part of the herd."


Thank you! I changed it up a little, but kept most of it intact! Let me know if I can help you out in any way.

mwhuzain
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby mwhuzain » Sun Sep 15, 2013 5:20 pm

zen wrote:
mwhuzain wrote:
I liked it. You clearly grew from your experience. I would just take "Asian" out, especially since mentioning Japan makes it redundant. I understand why it's there, but just because Asians tend to be part of the middle to upper class and educated doesn't mean that you would've just been a "part of the herd."


Thank you! I changed it up a little, but kept most of it intact! Let me know if I can help you out in any way.


No prob, Zen. If you have any advice on LR's role of a statement question that would be great. I started two threads over in the LSAT section to no avail.

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zen
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby zen » Sun Sep 15, 2013 5:42 pm

mwhuzain wrote:
zen wrote:
mwhuzain wrote:
I liked it. You clearly grew from your experience. I would just take "Asian" out, especially since mentioning Japan makes it redundant. I understand why it's there, but just because Asians tend to be part of the middle to upper class and educated doesn't mean that you would've just been a "part of the herd."


Thank you! I changed it up a little, but kept most of it intact! Let me know if I can help you out in any way.


No prob, Zen. If you have any advice on LR's role of a statement question that would be great. I started two threads over in the LSAT section to no avail.


What are the threads? I'll take a peek. I took the LSAT last December so might be a little rusty, but I'll do what I can.

mwhuzain
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby mwhuzain » Sun Sep 15, 2013 6:54 pm

zen wrote:
mwhuzain wrote:
zen wrote:
mwhuzain wrote:
I liked it. You clearly grew from your experience. I would just take "Asian" out, especially since mentioning Japan makes it redundant. I understand why it's there, but just because Asians tend to be part of the middle to upper class and educated doesn't mean that you would've just been a "part of the herd."


Thank you! I changed it up a little, but kept most of it intact! Let me know if I can help you out in any way.


No prob, Zen. If you have any advice on LR's role of a statement question that would be great. I started two threads over in the LSAT section to no avail.


What are the threads? I'll take a peek. I took the LSAT last December so might be a little rusty, but I'll do what I can.

It's under "LSAT prep and discussion." People finally responded but all tips are appreciated!

I took the Dec '12 LSAT, too. I'll never forget that fourth LG. Absolute trickery.

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zen
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby zen » Mon Sep 16, 2013 10:15 am

mwhuzain wrote:It's under "LSAT prep and discussion." People finally responded but all tips are appreciated!

I took the Dec '12 LSAT, too. I'll never forget that fourth LG. Absolute trickery.


Yeahhhhhhhhhh, I don't want to think about that one. I gave up trying to be clever and ended up brute forcing it hahahaha and then ran out of time to do the last question...

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lastsamurai
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby lastsamurai » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:10 am

Not sure if you've updated yet, but there are some things that just don't make sense grammatically:

- From that day on, I learned firsthand what a drastic change of circumstances can cause in someone’s life.
- help out anyway they could even though
- to lend us any help emotional or monetary at all (support?)

Overall, I think you need to edit because it comes across a little as whining that you weren't wealthy anymore, but it could be usable is you tweak the tone here and there.

Good luck!

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Ramius
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby Ramius » Mon Sep 16, 2013 11:32 am

I'm not sure this shows diversity as well as the people above believe. In fact, wouldn't having to worry about money make you just like the majority of us? The story you told isn't incredibly common, but I'm not sure how it allows you to bring a unique voice to a classroom. I think the fact that you lived in Japan for an extended length of time and have in-depth cultural experience outside the US would serve you better in showing how you bring a unique voice. I can't tell you what to write, but I think a topic along those lines would be much more effective at showing your diversity. You have a unique perspective to bring, but I'm not sure it's because of the reasons you're saying here.

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jselson
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby jselson » Mon Sep 16, 2013 12:39 pm

matthewsean85 wrote:I'm not sure this shows diversity as well as the people above believe. In fact, wouldn't having to worry about money make you just like the majority of us? The story you told isn't incredibly common, but I'm not sure how it allows you to bring a unique voice to a classroom. I think the fact that you lived in Japan for an extended length of time and have in-depth cultural experience outside the US would serve you better in showing how you bring a unique voice. I can't tell you what to write, but I think a topic along those lines would be much more effective at showing your diversity. You have a unique perspective to bring, but I'm not sure it's because of the reasons you're saying here.


Totally agree with this. I also don't like this racialized notion of the "crowd": you don't know other folks' experiences, so why comment on them? Everyone thinks they're "special" because the don't follow the stereotypical, imaginary "crowd." Expressing that sort of view makes you way more like the "crowd" than anything else.

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zen
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Re: Diversity Statement Usable?

Postby zen » Mon Sep 16, 2013 10:43 pm

All makes sense. I was on the fence for this anyway. Thanks for all the advice!




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