I will preface by saying that I am really, really hesitant to listen to my pre-law advisor. She also works with pre-med students, and generally just looks up information on LSAC.org whenever I've met with her.
That being said, she said my PS was not personal enough and it freaked me out alittle! I would love any feedback from you guys, since I trust this website more than the pre-law office! I know it's not the most personal piece of writing I can come up with, but my first few topics did not seem to tie into law school well enough.
Disclaimer: I have posted this before, but this is more of a final draft than my first post!
A few miles off [famous strew] lies [Film Studio], a movie studio that finally made the [city] “Hollywood [region]” reputation official. This building is completely state of the art: brand new sound stages, editing rooms, audition offices, and really anything else that a film crew could need. The Django Unchained crew had just wrapped up its time in XXXStudio when I started working there. Unfortunately, not all film production jobs are created equal, and my position was on the receiving end of jokes for being the only boring one in the building.
The company I worked for is a startup called ###, an online marketplace for buying and selling tax credits. My boss chose XXXStudio as its headquarters because of the studio’s ties with his business: “Hollywood [region]” is a product of generous tax credits in [state], which are tradable. Sellers get cash for their credits, and buyers receive credits at a discount to apply to their tax returns, and film companies are major sellers in the market. And so my first professional experience introduced me to the often-convoluted world of tax law as a Research Analyst Intern, preparing summary reports on the tax regulations specific to different states.
When I was with my friends I had to pretend that I hated the work. To them, I was a finance and economics student who was wasting my time at a job that required skills relevant to neither subject. While my peers were trying desperately to secure summer internships on Wall Street or the Federal Reserve, my choice seemed to come out of left field: I was going to continue working with taxes. They are not as glamorous as stocks, or as consistent as bonds, but they do have a place in the greater financial picture, and that is what I wanted to explore. So the next job I took introduced me to real estate tax liens, which when purchased at an auction and collected on can offer huge returns. Another experience, another business opportunity hidden underneath tax law.
In both cases I had coworkers who were JD students. They would share stories of what law school is actually like, and more importantly, walk me through the process of cutting through dense, dry tax law texts. And while they did most of the heavy lifting when legal stakes were high, I was able to contribute my experience as a finance student to make the relationship somewhat symbiotic. For instance, while at ###, the Company was planning a national expansion, and I was of little help with the legal steps they had to take. Instead I helped by isolating which states made the most business sense to enter first, based on existing tax credit markets. It was a blend of business and law in the real world, a valuable experience for me as a student, and something I consider a personal milestone.
I am still surprised that I got drawn into the field of taxes. I had written off fields like accounting for being too boring, and tax documents are not exactly page-turners either. But I ultimately consider it to be when I first considered a legal education for myself. I had been studying finance for three years, and after less than one year working with legal concepts my perspective on the field had grown. And now as I prepare to have an entire legal education at my disposal, I am excited for that trend to continue.
(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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I like it generally, but I agree a bit with your advisor, mostly because you don't really discuss WHY you like tax law, just that you do, and that the field's important. I also think some kind of change narrative could help involve the reader more. But as it is, I think it's generally quite acceptable (although the first two paragraphs aren't really about YOU, which leaves me as a reader saying get on with it).
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jselson wrote:I like it generally, but I agree a bit with your advisor, mostly because you don't really discuss WHY you like tax law, just that you do, and that the field's important. I also think some kind of change narrative could help involve the reader more. But as it is, I think it's generally quite acceptable (although the first two paragraphs aren't really about YOU, which leaves me as a reader saying get on with it).
haha while "generally quite acceptable" is not the response that writers dream of, at this point I will gladly take that over "scrap the whole idea."
Thanks for the feedback. Do you have any specific feedback on how to adjust the narrative to include the reader?
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