First draft

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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john1990
Posts: 1211
Joined: Sun Jun 05, 2011 5:49 pm

Re: First draft

Postby john1990 » Tue Sep 10, 2013 4:28 pm

john1990 wrote:
francesfarmer wrote:
john1990 wrote:I read the legal dictionary to increase my vocabulary. If you read a legal dictionary then law must be a passion of yours, there is no other explanation :lol:
Well some of this information is on my resume there are countless new facts here in this personal statement :!:
I believe there is reason to write about law as my passion. This was a goal of mine as an undergraduate and i know i accomplished this and it shows in this personal statement. My personality is in this paper and in the tone taken. The events i mention display my personality.

You have a ton of strangers on the internet (strangers just like adcomms; strangers like myself who got admitted to many T14 law schools) telling you that your statement lacks personality and substance, and yet you counter that it has personality and substance. Ok, sure, you win. Good luck with your cycle.


I have been accepted at a few T25 in the past but could not attend :/
I admit this is a more professional statement, but i do not have anything to write about in my personal life besides how i have become a more vocal person in classes

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rinkrat19
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Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am

Re: First draft

Postby rinkrat19 » Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:15 pm

john1990 wrote:I admit this is a more professional statement
It's not professional at ALL. It's vague and and superficial and makes you sound disturbingly strange. And also very young and naive.

john1990 wrote:but i do not have anything to write about in my personal life
A good writer could write a personal statement about their pencil-sharpening technique. My PS was about recreational sports. I've read good statements about appreciating art, about working a mundane job, and about lots of other undramatic everyday things.

john1990 wrote:how i have become a more vocal person in classes
Overcoming shyness/increasing confidence could be a fine topic if were fully developed, but that's not what your essay is about. It's a collection of weird stuff like reading the legal dictionary and unsupported claims of glory like increasing charisma.

In the end, it doesn't matter what YOU think of your PS. It matters what the reader thinks of it. Every single person who is reading it thinks it needs a complete overhaul.

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A. Nony Mouse
Posts: 22887
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:51 am

Re: First draft

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:35 pm

It can be hard to think of anything to write about, and easy to feel like there isn't anything to say. But you could write about a whole universe of things - family, friends, hobbies, pets, sports, work, volunteering, art, theater, science, music, reading, church, travel, vacations. If you wanted to write about your business law classes or your prelaw association, you could do that - you just need to actually tell your reader something about about them than that they were interesting and prepare you for law school.

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jselson
Posts: 6337
Joined: Sat Jan 05, 2013 3:51 am

Re: First draft

Postby jselson » Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:45 pm

I'm just gonna place this here:

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=196751

NanaP
Posts: 298
Joined: Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:29 pm

Re: First draft

Postby NanaP » Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:51 pm

To OP...I'm confused as to why you're so resistant to the advice given.....there is a simple solution, read the paper out loud and hear how it sounds.

I think you should start over. Think about anything, life event, your grandmother, grandfather...anything other than this topic. For fucks sake, there are countless articles as to what not to do, and what you just wrote is usually listed as number 1 not to do.....

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rinkrat19
Posts: 13918
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am

Re: First draft

Postby rinkrat19 » Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:54 pm

jselson wrote:I'm just gonna place this here:

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=196751

Well that's...special.

Image

californiauser
Posts: 1184
Joined: Sun Jul 01, 2012 1:10 am

Re: First draft

Postby californiauser » Tue Sep 10, 2013 7:54 pm

The first sentence is ridiculous.

How is being a lawyer better than being an NFL longsnapper?

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A. Nony Mouse
Posts: 22887
Joined: Tue Sep 25, 2012 11:51 am

Re: First draft

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Tue Sep 10, 2013 9:24 pm

rinkrat19 wrote:
jselson wrote:I'm just gonna place this here:

viewtopic.php?f=10&t=196751

Well that's...special.

Image

Srsly. Well, that's enough of this troll.




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