(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Last edited by anubis1911
on Mon Sep 09, 2013 11:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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No offense, but I stopped reading after the pretentious first clause; others might have more luck.
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This is pretty bad. I honestly don't want to take the time to break it all down but lets just say the content (rather than the mechanics or grammar) is what really needs work.
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I think you should take some time to reconsider who your audience is. I'm not sure what you've provided is, well, what anybody in an admissions office wants to read.
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