New Draft- Please Comment

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Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

New Draft- Please Comment

Postby Anonymous User » Wed Sep 04, 2013 11:05 pm

Prior to my freshman year, I was stout in my opinions and rarely willing to concede other viewpoints. Upon entering college, I enrolled in a class, Intergroup Dialogue, which focused on creating cohesive discussion between opposing groups of a particular social identity, such as gender, race, or religion. My dialogue group focused on racial relations in the United States. Previous students facilitated the class; both a white and an African-American facilitator led my group’s dialogue, helping us discuss our different perspectives and experiences in American culture. At the end of the semester, we collaborated in a group research project, studying the effect of race on Christianity.

My attitude towards other opinions changed dramatically, and I was asked to return the following semester as a peer facilitator. Facilitating has provided an opportunity to have thoughtful, empathetic discussion with individuals and groups with whom I have not always agreed; learn from students from varying backgrounds; and lead groups of my peers in discussions leading to understanding, cohesion, and friendships which otherwise may not have developed.

Tasked with leading other students in dialogue, I realized it was hypocritical not to incorporate it into my everyday life. When I joined the campus College Republicans, I noticed within myself and other members of the group an attitude of anger and negativity towards the Democratic Party. My experience peer facilitating changed my mindset and goals for the group when I became president in the fall of 2012. I determined our club’s goal should be to create a peaceful political environment on campus and contacted the president of the College Democrats, who agreed to hold recruitment events together. Shortly thereafter, our groups held a collective food drive for the Food Bank of Eastern Michigan. Towards the end of the winter semester, we realized our goal of creating a peaceful political environment. We held an event together, labeling it a dialogue rather than a debate, and the rules were simple: we could state and support our positions and ask questions regarding the other party’s views, but we could not attack the opposing viewpoints. Thanks to the commitment each participant demonstrated to maintaining a respectful, friendly tone, the event was successful. I presented the Republican viewpoint on same-sex marriage. Previously, I would have aggressively and insensitively argued against the acceptance of homosexuals as individuals and homosexuality as an institution, but instead, I approached my speech from the perspective of a person who has become able to appreciate and understand differing viewpoints and diverse backgrounds.

As I prepare to enter law school and an ensuing legal career, the lessons learned from Intergroup Dialogue and my interaction with the College Democrats will allow me to learn from others I otherwise would have been too inflexible to learn from. Law students are diverse, with each having a differing story and perspective, but without an open mind, their perspectives would be lost on me. Furthermore, as an attorney, I will represent clients with many different backgrounds, who need me to listen, understand their issues, and represent them to the fullest extent without bias.

Intergroup Dialogue has changed me, and it has allowed me to make headway in changing my campus community. I have seen a difference in the way I communicate with others, the way my students interact with each other, and the way opposing political parties discuss issues which often spark passionate arguments. I know by using dialogue as a tool to bring people together and setting an example of respect and empathy to those who surround me, I will continue to make a positive difference in my environments in law school, my career, and everyday life.

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Domke
Posts: 94
Joined: Sun Jul 21, 2013 10:47 pm

Re: New Draft- Please Comment

Postby Domke » Mon Sep 09, 2013 11:54 pm

I like it, a lot of people can relate to a desire to improve political discussion. The only thing I don't like is the first sentence. Almost everyone goes into freshman year closed minded, that is why you go to college.

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lastsamurai
Posts: 978
Joined: Tue Jun 25, 2013 11:17 am

Re: New Draft- Please Comment

Postby lastsamurai » Tue Sep 10, 2013 10:20 am

I thought it was a nice improvement from the last draft of yours I read until I got to the following:

Anonymous User wrote:I presented the Republican viewpoint on same-sex marriage. Previously, I would have aggressively and insensitively argued against the acceptance of homosexuals as individuals and homosexuality as an institution, but instead, I approached my speech from the perspective of a person who has become able to appreciate and understand differing viewpoints and diverse backgrounds.


You need to be EXTREMELY careful with this topic. All I know from reading the above is that you inherently are against acceptance of homosexuals and that you think of homosexuality as an institution. You say you approached the argument differently but not that your viewpoint is any different. I think it's way too risky and controversial for your PS unless you completely rewrite these two sentences. If left as is, I'd throw your app out.




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