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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
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Postby Anonymous User » Sat Aug 31, 2013 9:05 am

Thanks for the feedback!
Last edited by Anonymous User on Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:56 am, edited 3 times in total.

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alexrodriguez
Posts: 841
Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 4:59 am

Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby alexrodriguez » Sat Aug 31, 2013 9:57 am

The advice I am about to provide you is taken directly out of the book "The Law School Admission Game - Play Like an Expert" by Ann K. Levine.

I believe - It really doesn't matter what you believe about your ability to succeed in law school. The fact that you believe is immaterial. Just state the facts so that the reader independently concludes that he or she believes what you are trying to prove. (Same with "I think").

May I also add that I wasn't particularly moved by this PS. After the third paragraph I left the page. Then after reconsideration I decided I might as well provide some feedback.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Sat Aug 31, 2013 11:46 am

I agree about "I think/I believe."

I actually liked this, but I also don't like PSes that try to "move" you and prefer the kind of analytical writing you've done here. However, I'm not really sure how you get from journalism to law here. In particular, the second to last paragraph feels out of place, like you're suddenly talking about something else. It's a good paragraph, but it doesn't seem to have anything to do with the rest of the PS. (Possibly take the "journalism exposed me to a variety of topics" bit from the previous paragraph and use that to open the second-to-last?) My sense is that this paragraph is supposed to be the "what I want to do in law school/why law school" part, but it's not clear on a quick read - which is all the PS will likely get. Maybe something that ties it more strongly to the "I want to solve problems, not just read about them" element of your final paragraph (which I like, apart from "I believe"). So, "journalism exposed me to a variety of real world problems, but over time I felt the limits in what journalism could achieve to solve those problems" or something along those lines.

Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Aug 31, 2013 8:47 pm

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Last edited by Anonymous User on Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

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alexrodriguez
Posts: 841
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Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby alexrodriguez » Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:24 am

I prefer this ending over the last. May I ask how many different topics you explored? If I knew you considered a few I'd be more content.

In my opinion this is a very "safe" PS. It will neither detract or add to your application. I feel like I don't learn much about you personally. I'm an English major and I've dabbled into journalism as you have, but if I was to write about my own experiences through these matters I don't feel anyone would have a better sense of who I am.

I know this may sound troubling because I'm sure you've gone through much effort to write this. But ask yourself, "Is this really the best representation of who I am as a person? Or is there something else?"

If you have like a 3.9 and a 171... by all means go ahead and apply everywhere. I doubt this PS will really matter.

But if youre at like a 3.4 with a 161 and you're really trying to get into that reach school- I'd at least brainstorm through some different topics.

I'm nobody though. I'm just a 0L in the same boat as you. All my advice may very well be nonsense.

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Emma.
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Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby Emma. » Sun Sep 01, 2013 12:37 am

Not really feeling it. It is obviously well written and polished, but I don't feel like I learn anything about you. I guess it isn't "personal" enough for my tastes.

Anonymous User
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Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Sep 01, 2013 5:21 am

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Last edited by Anonymous User on Sun Sep 01, 2013 6:56 am, edited 2 times in total.

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alexrodriguez
Posts: 841
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Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby alexrodriguez » Sun Sep 01, 2013 5:27 am

With those numbers most schools are going to accept you without even looking at your PS. Maybe not Yale... but a lot will.

From what I understand... ADCOMS are going to do a quick read through just to make sure you're not a complete fool.

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alexrodriguez
Posts: 841
Joined: Wed May 01, 2013 4:59 am

Re: Is my PS ready to be submitted?

Postby alexrodriguez » Sun Sep 01, 2013 5:29 am

hey, message me about how you studied for the lsat... I need a 170+ if I have any hope of going to a decent school




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