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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
Posts: 273519
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

gone for now

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:03 am

Sorry, I'm shy.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Tue Aug 06, 2013 3:09 am, edited 2 times in total.

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mandyjay11
Posts: 1159
Joined: Tue Jul 16, 2013 10:36 am

Re: My PS. Please take a gander :)

Postby mandyjay11 » Fri Aug 02, 2013 2:48 pm

I think the beginning is not as personal as I think it should be. It kind of reads like " I met a law student, he showed me some cool stuff he did, I though it would be cool for me" .... actually I would reconsider even keeping that whole paragraph all together.

I think it would be better for focus on your experience in the army because part that starts with the Defense Language Institute is the most captivating

I would leave out the mention of the LSAT and saying the Army recruiters "got really excited..."

I am also still left asking " Why does he want to go to law school, besides the fact that his friend showed him a cool case..."

Summary: Keep and flush out the Army aspect because it is a really interesting aspect of you as a person (maybe focusing on a specific incident or event or something) and relate that to why you would like a law degree

hope that's helpful

Anonymous User
Posts: 273519
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Complete re-write. I would greatly appreciate your eyes.

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Aug 05, 2013 1:16 pm

It was very helpful, thank you. I rewrote almost the whole thing. :)




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