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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
Posts: 273043
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

delete

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jun 28, 2013 5:44 pm

Thanks, got what I needed, editing now.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:40 am, edited 3 times in total.

nugnoy
Posts: 115
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:19 pm

Re: DS Topic, Diverse enough?

Postby nugnoy » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:18 pm

No matter what type of essay this topic is used, I think it'll be an attention grabbing topic.

I think it can work as diversity, but you'd have to emphasize how it makes you unique. I think specifically it'll help you say "I will increase your class's diversity in socioeconomically."

But I'd be careful, because I see it easily slipping into an adversity essay.

I personally think (from what little info I have from you) it'd make a solid personal statement topic, maybe more so than a diversity topic.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273043
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: DS Topic, Diverse enough?

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:51 pm

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Last edited by Anonymous User on Tue Jul 02, 2013 11:40 am, edited 2 times in total.

nugnoy
Posts: 115
Joined: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:19 pm

Re: DS Topic, Diverse enough?

Postby nugnoy » Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:30 pm

I understand. One good way to make it into a meaningful essay instead of a complain is to focus not on the events, but on the impact of the events. Maybe concisely describe the most important events in the first paragraph as the intro, and spend the rest of the essay talking about their significance to you. Another structure could be for you to dedicate each paragraph onto one event and its significance - 1 or 2 sentence describing the event (as concisely as possible), rest of the paragraph talking about its significance.

I think maybe in your case, really distill the history into two or three sentences. I know it sucks when I have to cut a lot of details - I just wrote 2 well-written paragraphs and decided I'm gonna have to cut it, because I simply don't have the space for describing the event in the 2 pages - at least 2/3 of it should be on to significance/implications. When you get down to it, what's the core of all those events that is essential to your conclusion?

Hope it works out,




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