(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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- Joined: Mon Apr 23, 2012 2:27 pm
Anonymous User wrote:"I was in such physical and mental pain and anguish that I was put on heavy sedatives that induced a semi-comatose state"?
1. You can do without the multiple "and" since anguish is basically the same thing that you already mentioned.
2. Instead of "that I was", maybe mention who put you under sedatives.
3. I know that you're using "heavy" in the same sense as the word "strong", so why not just use strong or noxious--since the result put you in a state of harm.
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