Critique my statement to harvard

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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alexrodriguez
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Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Thu May 02, 2013 4:24 am

.
Last edited by alexrodriguez on Tue Apr 29, 2014 1:55 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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ManOfTheMinute
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby ManOfTheMinute » Thu May 02, 2013 4:37 am

based on your other posts I almost though that you were serious, but then I realized you were just trolling super hard... not sure that I would have spent this much time just to troll, but I applaud the effort nonetheless

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Thu May 02, 2013 4:43 am

great job
Last edited by alexrodriguez on Sun Nov 09, 2014 4:41 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Nova
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby Nova » Thu May 02, 2013 4:44 am

louierodriguez wrote: what is Harvard going to tell me?

No

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Thu May 02, 2013 4:50 am

why?

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Nova
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby Nova » Thu May 02, 2013 5:00 am


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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Thu May 02, 2013 6:17 am

I agree
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wlee1220
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby wlee1220 » Thu May 02, 2013 8:47 am

louierodriguez wrote:
I'm not sure as to whether or not I'm an under represented minority. I'm half cuban and half white


Based on my understanding of URM, no. I'm probably in no position to do this, but I really don't get your PS. Why do you even want to go to law school, let alone Harvard?
Last edited by wlee1220 on Fri May 03, 2013 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

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ManOfTheMinute
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby ManOfTheMinute » Thu May 02, 2013 1:43 pm

If you look at mylsn.info, there is a 0% chance that you get admitted... out of the 24 people within a 3.1 and 3.2, with an LSAT between 170 and 175, 22 people got rejected and 2 got WLed, and then rejected.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble and ruin your dreams, but you will not be able to go to Harvard (or Yale or Stanford) - your UGPA is simply too low, and unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done at this point to fix that :'(

On a side note, that PS has no chance of getting you into HLS either, even if you had a 4.0/180. Maybe go to a lesser law school, enter academia, and then you can teach at HLS?

If it's HLS or bust for you, don't bother wasting your time to study for the LSAT

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 4:24 am

ManOfTheMinute wrote:If you look at mylsn.info, there is a 0% chance that you get admitted... out of the 24 people within a 3.1 and 3.2, with an LSAT between 170 and 175, 22 people got rejected and 2 got WLed, and then rejected.

I'm sorry to burst your bubble and ruin your dreams, but you will not be able to go to Harvard (or Yale or Stanford) - your UGPA is simply too low, and unfortunately, there is nothing that can be done at this point to fix that :'(

On a side note, that PS has no chance of getting you into HLS either, even if you had a 4.0/180. Maybe go to a lesser law school, enter academia, and then you can teach at HLS?

If it's HLS or bust for you, don't bother wasting your time to study for the LSAT


Okay, well what's wrong with the personal statement? I need some constructive criticism not useless putdowns. I'm not applying to any schools for at least another year, so time is on my side. It was a rough draft. I wrote it at work while I was on live radio. I'll probably end up writing another 10 personal statements before I find the perfect one.

Also, all those numbers you quoted are great, but how many of those people are currently serving? My military service has got to count for something. And I'll be in the reserves while going to law school, so there's that.

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 4:26 am

ManOfTheMinute wrote:out of the 24 people within a 3.1 and 3.2, with an LSAT between 170 and 175, 22 people got rejected and 2 got WLed, and then rejected.


thanks
Last edited by alexrodriguez on Sun Nov 09, 2014 4:42 am, edited 2 times in total.

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Clearly
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby Clearly » Mon May 06, 2013 4:28 am

Dont feed the troll.

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JaviSTB
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby JaviSTB » Mon May 06, 2013 5:01 am

You have to be a troll because lord knows no one would ever seriously write a personal statement like that.

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 6:14 am

okay
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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 6:15 am

I'm not sure
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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 6:30 am

I'll keep working on it
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Clearly
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby Clearly » Mon May 06, 2013 6:37 am

You oversold the bit friend, please tls, man up and let the thread die.

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 6:45 am

lol true
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Clearly
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby Clearly » Mon May 06, 2013 7:05 am

louierodriguez wrote:
Clearlynotstefan wrote:You oversold the bit friend, please tls, man up and let the thread die.


I don't understand your jargon.

I'll let this thread die when someone gives me intuitive feedback. All this trolling stuff isn't useful because clearly I'm not trolling. I'm in the middle of a tour overseas. I'm in the Navy. Wasting my time or yours isn't something I have time for.

Under no circumstances, no matter what you score on the LSAT, short of curing cancer will you get into Harvard, unfortunately that's the reality of your situation. /troll

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 7:12 am

I guess I'll work on writing a different personal statement. Hopefully you all can be a bit more helpful then.

NYstate
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby NYstate » Mon May 06, 2013 7:38 am

Thank you for your service.

I think there are two basic problems with your personal statement:

It doesn't tell you much about who you are - it is more about what you have done. Tell us about you. Don't talk about learning things on the government dime. Talk about your circumstances.

It makes you look very scattered. You are constantly changing your mind. You seem to jump from one idea to the next. Pick a single event or explain exactly why you did something.

Asha from Yale has some posts on writing personal statements. There are other resources as well.

Also, Harvard knows why you want to apply to Harvard- if you want to include that maybe give another reason than just because it is Harvard. If you can't, leave that out.

I don't know how much of a boost you will get from being in the military from Harvard. But you will definitely get a boost at many schools. There are threads here for military people to post questions. Take advantage of them.

There are many reasons to study your ass off for this test. You will get accepted at much better schools than if you don't.

Finally, Harvard isn't the only decent law school out there. If you get a high score you will get accepted to a good school. Don't make just going to Harvard your only goal.

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alexrodriguez
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby alexrodriguez » Mon May 06, 2013 7:51 am

NYstate wrote:Thank you for your service.

I think there are two basic problems with your personal statement:

It doesn't tell you much about who you are - it is more about what you have done. Tell us about you. Don't talk about learning things on the government dime. Talk about your circumstances.

It makes you look very scattered. You are constantly changing your mind. You seem to jump from one idea to the next. Pick a single event or explain exactly why you did something.

Asha from Yale has some posts on writing personal statements. There are other resources as well.

Also, Harvard knows why you want to apply to Harvard- if you want to include that maybe give another reason than just because it is Harvard. If you can't, leave that out.

I don't know how much of a boost you will get from being in the military from Harvard. But you will definitely get a boost at many schools. There are threads here for military people to post questions. Take advantage of them.

There are many reasons to study your ass off for this test. You will get accepted at much better schools than if you don't.

Finally, Harvard isn't the only decent law school out there. If you get a high score you will get accepted to a good school. Don't make just going to Harvard your only goal.


Thanks
Last edited by alexrodriguez on Sun Nov 09, 2014 4:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

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A. Nony Mouse
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby A. Nony Mouse » Mon May 06, 2013 9:26 am

I don't think intuitive means what you think it means...

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Clearly
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby Clearly » Mon May 06, 2013 2:41 pm

:lol:
A. Nony Mouse wrote:I don't think intuitive means what you think it means...

wlee1220
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Re: Critique my statement to harvard

Postby wlee1220 » Mon May 06, 2013 11:45 pm

louierodriguez wrote:
wlee1220 wrote:
louierodriguez wrote:
I'm not sure as to whether or not I'm an under represented minority. I'm half cuban and half white


Based on my understanding of URM, no. I'm probably in no position to do this, but I really don't get your PS. Why do you even want to go to law school, let alone Harvard?


What don't you understand?

I want to go to law school to make a difference. I want to help people.

I want to go to Harvard because it's Harvard. It's the best education in the world.


NYState pretty much said this, but your statement makes you seem flighty and restless, and not in a good way. It sounds like you are trying to find yourself, when that probably isn't the case. Maybe you should just expound on one point and go from there.

And thank you for your service.




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