Please tell me if my PS makes any sense at all! Forum
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vitalv
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2013 10:50 pm
Please tell me if my PS makes any sense at all!
PLEASE DELETE
Last edited by vitalv on Sat Mar 30, 2013 5:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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laxbrah420
- Posts: 2720
- Joined: Fri Aug 12, 2011 1:53 am
Re: Please tell me if my PS makes any sense at all!
Yea dude it makes sense. It comes off a bit heavy I think..and makes me think of that "impossible is nothing" video in terms of its pretentiousness, but I don't have any specific recommendations that might help you to lighten it up...except perhaps to consider pontificating less in the last paragraph. But ultimately this shows that you're a solid writer with a legitimate desire to go to LS, so you should proceed with it and get it in ASAP (or wait a cycle since you've really fucked yourself hard by waiting this long).
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vitalv
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Feb 25, 2013 10:50 pm
Re: Please tell me if my PS makes any sense at all!
laxbrah420 wrote:Yea dude it makes sense. It comes off a bit heavy I think..and makes me think of that "impossible is nothing" video in terms of its pretentiousness, but I don't have any specific recommendations that might help you to lighten it up...except perhaps to consider pontificating less in the last paragraph. But ultimately this shows that you're a solid writer with a legitimate desire to go to LS, so you should proceed with it and get it in ASAP (or wait a cycle since you've really fucked yourself hard by waiting this long).
That you so much for taking the time to read it.
Does the full hand metaphor come across as consistent and understandable?
