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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
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Please delete

Postby Anonymous User » Sat Feb 16, 2013 8:46 pm

Moderators, please delete this thread. Thank you.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Tue Feb 19, 2013 3:18 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Tom Joad
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Re: My Three Addendums critique:)

Postby Tom Joad » Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:31 pm

These are all terrible. There is almost never ever a good reason to write an LSAT addendum. Your GPA addendum just sounds like excuses. Your ADD addendum isn't necessary. Nobody cares if you have ADD unless it has impacted your application negatively in a way you want to explain further.

Ultimately, I would like the committee to know that with hard work and dedication my plan will work. I will conquer my 1L courses, I will make law review, and I will continue, step-by-step, to eventually graduating near or at the top of my class. I have never been more certain of anything.


And this type of language is abhorrent.

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stillwater
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Re: My Three Addendums critique:)

Postby stillwater » Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:35 pm

Tom Joad wrote:These are all terrible. There is almost never ever a good reason to write an LSAT addendum. Your GPA addendum just sounds like excuses. Your ADD addendum isn't necessary. Nobody cares if you have ADD unless it has impacted your application negatively in a way you want to explain further.

Ultimately, I would like the committee to know that with hard work and dedication my plan will work. I will conquer my 1L courses, I will make law review, and I will continue, step-by-step, to eventually graduating near or at the top of my class. I have never been more certain of anything.


And this type of language is abhorrent.


yea dude, this is no bueno. it sounds like a pile of excuses.

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nygrrrl
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Re: My Three Addendums critique:)

Postby nygrrrl » Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:23 pm

Admissions are - as a rule - numbers-based.
Either you have them or you don't.
A GPA addendum is only relevant if there were some seriously extenuating circumstances that affected your grades (for example, you or a close family member was in the hospital for all of junior year.)
ADD/ADHD is not a disability requiring an addendum unless - as Joad has said - it has negatively impacted your application in a tangible way. Maybe if it is so bad that you needed extra time on the LSAT; something of that nature.
The LSAT addendum is just... excuses. They won't care.
As for the rest, the AdComm isn't interested in how determined you are to make top of your class, work hard, etc - everyone enters law school believing that they will do those things.
I'm sorry OP: these will only serve to make you look worse to an AdComm, not better.
I would write a PS and a DS and leave these off your application.

sparty99
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Re: My Three Addendums critique:)

Postby sparty99 » Sun Feb 17, 2013 12:09 am

All your addendums are horribly written and you sound like an immature brat who makes excuses.

Also, stop with the adjectives and verbs. Legal writing is supposed to be clear and to-the-point. You use 20 words when all you need is five.

XLogic
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Re: My Three Addendums critique:)

Postby XLogic » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:26 am

To be frank, you'll need to re-write these. I usually start out by saying something positive about an essay, but in this case I am lost for words.

I actually only read the LSAT addendum, because after reading it, I felt your other addendums would be similar.

To start, do not say that you are a bad test taker -- not able to keep calm during the actual exam? Huh? if you react like this during LSAT tests, then how will you perform when you face 1st semester law school exams? Will you flee the exam room...?

In all your addendums, follow this template:

The Facts ______ (fill in the blank -- my GPA, my LSAT score etc)
Here are the circumstances surround my performance
I OWN IT! i.e., I take responsibility for my performance
I took steps to make it better -- X, Y, Z
Here is how I will be even better in law school
Done!

Anonymous User
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Re: My Three Addendums:)

Postby Anonymous User » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:32 am

Thanks for the prop responses peeps. And thanks for keeping it real. I've been just as direct with people on here when I give advise, so I appreciate right back. I'm just worried. The truth is that my lsacgpa is misleading, maybe not for the second reason but surely the first still stands. How do grades that I received so many years back bare any relevence to my capabilities now? They don't. My understanding was that our gpa was a direct refection of our capabilities. After factoring in the schools I attended before the Navy my gpa dropped 4.2 points. Yeah. Oh well. Life is not always fair; I should not complain. Besides perhaps they'll figure it out on their own. It's tough though. I wish I could just sit down in person, in front of every committee, and go to work on them. Maybe that's why my language in these wasn't appropriate. Besides, one thing I noticed is that I rarely used any facts... I mean not in any of the three. Without facts how are they to believe anything I'm saying.

I agree that none of these addendums should be included. Tom Joad, StillWater, NYgrrrl, and sparty99, thanks for the advice. StillWater, thanks for advising on my CF issues too.

I'll finish my PS and Diversity and get these up in the next day or two.

Edit: I just saw XLogic's comments. Thanks bud!
Last edited by Anonymous User on Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

Big Dog
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Re: My Three Addendums critique:)

Postby Big Dog » Sun Feb 17, 2013 1:39 am

There is absolutely zero value to write a LSAT addendum that essentially says, "yeah, but I'm better than that score." Every applicant who scored <180 could do the exact same.

If you want to write a GPA addendum, split your gpa's from 10 years ago, to your GPA at Tufts. Normally, you would just say, I was young (and stupid) and now I get the idea of learning, so I did much better. Or, you could say that your ADD was undiagnosed 10 years ago, but now you have meds. However, 5 W's at Tufts will stand out, as will academic probation.

Given the hints about your numbers, you ought seriously reconsider going to law school.

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ManoftheHour
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Re: My Three Addendums critique:)

Postby ManoftheHour » Sun Feb 17, 2013 2:08 am

[quote="Tom Joad"]These are all terrible. There is almost never ever a good reason to write an LSAT addendum. Your GPA addendum just sounds like excuses. Your ADD addendum isn't necessary. Nobody cares if you have ADD unless it has impacted your application negatively in a way you want to explain further.
/quote]

At least with GPA, you could argue a rising trend or attempt to convince them to disregard one bad quarter/semester/year. With the LSAT, what's the excuse for not retaking? I took the LSAT in October 2011 and didn't like my score. Ended up taking a year off to prep and ended up consistently scoring in the high 160s and low 170s before choking it all away last December. Even I didn't write a LSAT addendum in my apps this year because it honestly just sounds like a lame excuse. I still have the option of retaking, and applying another cycle if my options aren't favorable so do you.




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