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Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am


Postby Anonymous User » Sat Jan 19, 2013 11:08 pm

thanks :)
Last edited by Anonymous User on Mon Jan 21, 2013 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Posts: 134
Joined: Wed Mar 21, 2012 11:06 pm

Re: Please give feedback on my diversity statement DS

Postby cgw » Sun Jan 20, 2013 10:20 pm

Anonymous User wrote:Thank you guys.

Diversity Statement

People that immigrate to a new country during their teenage years are called 1.5-generation immigrants. I lived half of my life in Korea and the other half in the US, immigrating to the latter country as a teenager. When someone asked where I was from, I sometimes did not know whether I should answer Korea or the US; I did not fit neatly into either of those categories.

My confusion partially resulted from my early years in the US, during which I experiencedfaced both a cultural shock and a linguistic barrier. I wished to improve my English as quickly as possible. In order to achieve this goal, I immersed myself in American popular culture while rejecting all forms of Korean culture. I bluntly believed that my Korean identity would hinder my process of learning English and thriving in this new country. Soon, I learned that my ambitious plan to Americanize myself failed; my Korean heritage was already an innate part of my identity. This left me confused and torn, and I felt as though I did not belong anywhere.

I'm not sure what you meant with "bluntly," but the word doesn't fit there.
What led you to the conclusion that your Korean heritage was innate and you could not fully Americanize yourself? I think it would be beneficial to explore that in a couple of sentences.

My college experience completely changed my perspective on this issue. ________ University was a much more diverse community than my high school; many students and faculty had bicultural or even tri-cultural backgrounds. By interacting with these individuals who fully appreciated their multiple heritages, I learned that rather than not belonging anywhere, I belonged everywhere. After all, I never had to make a choice between my Korean and American identities. I was finally able to accept and appreciate myself as fully Korean and fully American. My identity crisis taught me another valuable lesson: when given options (A) and (B), I should not just assume that I have to make a choice between them because sometimes they may both be right answers. In that case, I will have to come up with my own right answer, “(C) All of the above.” In law school, I believe this approach will help me come up with innovative solutions when faced with conflicting viewpoints and help enrich class discussions.

The end feels a little abrupt to me, but otherwise I think this is very well written statement and don't really have anything to add.

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