Looking to submit tonight -- Read/critique PS? (Edited)

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
kferden
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:20 pm

Looking to submit tonight -- Read/critique PS? (Edited)

Postby kferden » Thu Jan 10, 2013 11:10 pm

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Last edited by kferden on Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:14 pm, edited 5 times in total.

kferden
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:20 pm

Re: Starting fresh -- opinions/critiques of my PS so far?

Postby kferden » Thu Jan 10, 2013 11:26 pm

And then it'll go on about how that same inquisitiveness grew with me over the years, thirst for knowledge, application of that in my professional experience, pieces all coming together, etc. :)

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CorkBoard
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Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:05 pm

Re: Starting fresh -- opinions/critiques of my PS so far?

Postby CorkBoard » Fri Jan 11, 2013 11:52 pm

kferden wrote:And then it'll go on about how that same inquisitiveness grew with me over the years, thirst for knowledge, application of that in my professional experience, pieces all coming together, etc. :)

Post the rest so we can help you better.

kferden
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:20 pm

Re: Starting fresh -- opinions/critiques of my PS. Thanks!

Postby kferden » Sat Jan 12, 2013 5:15 pm

Just updated the original post with the full PS. If someone could give me some ideas of how to better polish it, that would be awesome!

kferden
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:20 pm

Re: Looking to submit tonight -- Read/critique PS? (Edited)

Postby kferden » Sun Jan 13, 2013 12:35 pm

Anybody? I really want submit either this or a version of this by tonight. I just kind of want some outside feedback so I can a grasp of where it's at. Thanks!

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usafgirl
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Re: Looking to submit tonight -- Read/critique PS? (Edited)

Postby usafgirl » Sun Jan 13, 2013 1:43 pm

You don't really say why law. Your first paragraph leads off suggesting that you have decided to study law specifically but the last paragraph doesn't really address it. You speak to general characteristics of learning that could be applied to any subject matter--I suggest adding in at least a couple sentences at the end that speak to 'why law' specifically.

kferden
Posts: 33
Joined: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:20 pm

Re: Looking to submit tonight -- Read/critique PS? (Edited)

Postby kferden » Sun Jan 13, 2013 11:15 pm

Updated original post with a different, more why law-specific penultimate paragraph and conclusion.




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