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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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NDJ
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Postby NDJ » Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:53 pm

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Last edited by NDJ on Fri Mar 08, 2013 12:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.

toothbrush
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Re: GPA addendum - please critique - thanks!

Postby toothbrush » Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:06 pm

IMO I understand where you're coming from. Be very objective though. You're sort of coaxing them into feeling bad or as if you're unsure if you should write an addendum.

Write the addendum from an objective pov leaving out the "I'm not sure if.." and "I understand if you disregard this" and I think it's okay.

Edit- I'd also say that you should basically succinctly say why you did poorly and then provide X semesters (as you did) which you feel are truly indicative of your ability to succeed in an academic environment (that is what they care about).

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prssrnt17
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Re: GPA addendum - please critique - thanks!

Postby prssrnt17 » Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:26 pm

Honestly, this makes it seem like you should be a musician... if you only cared about developing musically and didn't care about grades, why do you want to go to law school?

Of course, I am a 0L and know next to nothing, but that's the sense I got from reading this.

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bluepenguin
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Re: GPA addendum - please critique - thanks!

Postby bluepenguin » Wed Jan 09, 2013 11:40 pm

NDJ wrote:I am writing this addendum with regards to my GPA, and several outlying class grades. While I believe there is no excuse for these grades and I take full responsibility for all of my failures along with my successes, I thought I should honestly address these poor performances in writing, to provide some perspective on them.

Having never dreamed of attending any educational institution not pertaining to music, high grades had no pragmatic value for me; my college years were primarily about developing musically and personally as much as I could, and building direct career prospects, which I believe I accomplished with great success. My only regret is that in instances where those goals interfered with succeeding academically, instead of trying to balance the two, I would often simply withdraw my efforts from the latter.

The notion of persisting and excelling at tasks and challenges simply by virtue of the fact that I am presented with them took until much later in my college career to sink in for me. I falsely believed I could discern which successes would matter and which would not; I recognize now that whatever situation I find myself in, it behooves me to give my full effort consistently, for I can never know what will be significant in the long run.

The fact that the majority of my grades were A’s, as well as the fact that my semesters at __________ **2 semesters abroad after college** were straight A’s, should indicate that that is representative of my academic potential. While I could not blame an admissions office for completely disregarding this addendum, I wanted to take this opportunity to provide the honest truth, and to say that, having made these mistakes in the past is currently what drives me to give my tireless effort to every challenge facing me, no matter, in my limited perspective, how inconsequential it may seem.


Last paragraph can mostly be deleted. They know your grades. Give them context for interpretation, don't tell them how to interpret them. I also generally loathe people talking about "admissions offices" in statements.

"Honest truth"? Say something more like "explain candidly."

The whole thing needs to be edited for clarity and simplicity. Give it a few more revisions.

"Having never dreamed" - I would say just use simple past tense. That sounds so awkward.

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NDJ
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Re: GPA addendum - please critique - thanks!

Postby NDJ » Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:16 pm

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Last edited by NDJ on Wed Feb 20, 2013 11:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

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bluepenguin
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Re: GPA addendum - please critique - thanks!

Postby bluepenguin » Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:34 pm

Just for the record, the fact that I'm doing edits does not mean I think this is a good idea.

I wouldn't submit an addendum for this.

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NDJ
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Re: GPA addendum - please critique - thanks!

Postby NDJ » Thu Jan 10, 2013 4:02 pm

cool - wont send. thanks!




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