C&F critique and advice (will help in return)

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

C&F critique and advice (will help in return)

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Dec 21, 2012 5:38 pm

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Last edited by Anonymous User on Wed Dec 26, 2012 2:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273254
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: C&F critique and advice (will help in return)

Postby Anonymous User » Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:15 pm

Please someone...

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bluepenguin
Posts: 285
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:33 pm

Re: C&F critique and advice (will help in return)

Postby bluepenguin » Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:55 pm

Anonymous User wrote:As a juvenile, I was cited twice for disorderly conduct. I'm not sure about this comma. If you're not either you can scour OWL or put "as a juvenile" at the end. Both offenses happened within a six month period. I'm not sure why you have that detail. I don't know much about C&F but it strikes me you should either give the exact dates or leave this out altogether. As an immature teenager, I was associating myself with the wrong people. I took responsibility for my actions and paid the fine for the citation. Anything else? Probation? Community service? Both of the offenses have been expunged from my record.

When I was twenty years old, I was cited for a minor in consumption of alcohol. I was walking home from a friend’s house when I was stopped and asked to take a Breathalyzer. I admitted that I was drinking and was fully cooperative. I was placed into a diversionary program and the offense was removed from my record.



Am I supposed to put more details about the disorderly conducts? I requested the docket transcript and the only thing listed is the charge of disorder conduct hazardous/ phsyi off. There is no details about the events and I would rather not specify.




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