Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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BerksGirl
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Joined: Fri Nov 02, 2012 6:16 pm

Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby BerksGirl » Mon Dec 17, 2012 8:45 pm

Hello!

So I feel like I'm late in the game compared to most that post on here but I waited to finalize my schools after getting a bunch of fee waivers last week (I have some great Top 10 schools on there).

Anyways I wrote what I think is a pretty good diversity statement, but my boss (a prof at a top 6 school) thinks it makes me sound like I had a pretty easy life. I know I'm very diverse and feel like just because I didn't struggle or face discrimination that I can still turn in something good.

This is what I'm writing on:

I'm a Puerto Rican female that was in a professional salsa group in order to experience my culture in more depth.

My dad passed away when I was almost 4 and now I have a great step dad.

My parents both have jobs in law enforcement and I think this gives me a really unique perspective when it comes to law.

I know these seem like 3 really distinct topics but I made sure they tie together well in the essay. My boss specifically points to the third topic and says it automatically shows that I am well off (which I guess I'm doing ok).


Any thoughts would be very much appreciated!!!!

Anonimo
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Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:10 pm

Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby Anonimo » Mon Dec 17, 2012 11:23 pm

Do you want to write an adversity statement or a diversity statement? Diversity doesn't have to necessarily show huge amounts of struggle. Be honest and share your experiences and what you have learned from them.

Also, If I were you I would try to concentrate on one thesis. Make sure you include your puertorriqueñidad on the essay.

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BerksGirl
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Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby BerksGirl » Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:19 am

Definitely diversity. I know there are some schools like ucla that ask to explain an obstacle but I kinda addressed one in my personal statement. I'm having difficulty just doing one topic since I think all 3 really do contribute to my uniqueness as a candidate.

And the way I tied them together is by talking about each person in my life that represents that aspect of diversity.

I think this may be more stressful than my ps was :?

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bluepenguin
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Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby bluepenguin » Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:26 am

Without seeing it it's hard to say. I don't see anything inherently undoable about what you're trying to do (in the hands of a decent writer).

There is no reason whatsoever why a difficult life should be a prerequisite for law school admission. Unless you're being asked specifically about your troubles, I don't see the problem.

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PickMe!
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Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby PickMe! » Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:32 am

Anonimo wrote:Do you want to write an adversity statement or a diversity statement?


My thoughts exactly!

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BerksGirl
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Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby BerksGirl » Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:36 am

Ok so this is exactly what I was thinking! My boss got me doubting it. Well if anyone cares to see it I can share and would be willing to edit one in return.

Anonimo
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Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:10 pm

Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby Anonimo » Tue Dec 18, 2012 2:33 pm

I would be very happy to help you out. Send it to me.

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BerksGirl
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Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby BerksGirl » Tue Dec 18, 2012 3:06 pm

Anyone care to swap personal statements as well? I actually enjoy reading through them and making edits!

B90
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Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 3:08 pm

Re: Diversity Statement- not enough struggle?

Postby B90 » Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:17 pm

You can post anonymously. If you do, others will be able to see all of your edits and feedback, and benefit from it as well.




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