Getting closer? An almost final fraft

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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domori
Posts: 62
Joined: Fri Jul 27, 2012 11:49 pm

Re: Getting closer? An almost final fraft

Postby domori » Mon Dec 17, 2012 12:35 pm

the start was attention grabbing without being too much and I liked the story but I agree with other people here that the essay doesn't say enough about you

Lear22
Posts: 275
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:17 am

Re: Getting closer? An almost final fraft

Postby Lear22 » Mon Dec 17, 2012 12:39 pm

stuckinthemiddle wrote:And just to put things in perspective, while you may be good at writing, this PS is average in terms of style, word choice, coherence, and flow. I don't believe you should be 100% confident that your writing is going to make up for the riskiness and ambiguity of your PS.

Again, I don't want you to think I'm taking a shot at you. You really do sound like a nice person with an interesting story to tell, and you know your package better than any of us do. Just be realistic about the choices you are making and don't be too stubborn to add a little "safety padding" with a few conventional PS components like actual goals or personal strengths and skills.


Thanks for this.
Re: writing. Giving that I grew up in israel and hadn't written in eng more than a few sentences until I moved here, I'm content.

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stuckinthemiddle
Posts: 312
Joined: Fri Dec 14, 2012 2:24 am

Re: Getting closer? An almost final fraft

Postby stuckinthemiddle » Mon Dec 17, 2012 12:42 pm

Alright then! Good luck.

I am genuinely hoping for the best for you! :D

Lear22
Posts: 275
Joined: Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:17 am

Re: Getting closer? An almost final fraft

Postby Lear22 » Mon Dec 17, 2012 12:58 pm

stuckinthemiddle wrote:Alright then! Good luck.

I am genuinely hoping for the best for you! :D


I believe you :D don't think I am not appreciative that you took the one to read and comment, I truly am.

Good luck to you as well :D

Younger Abstention
Posts: 335
Joined: Sun Dec 19, 2010 2:36 pm

Re: Getting closer? An almost final fraft

Postby Younger Abstention » Tue Dec 18, 2012 2:45 am

Lear22 wrote:
Younger Abstention wrote:
Lear22 wrote:
Younger Abstention wrote:The first 7 paragraphs should be reduced to like 4 sentences. Seriously.

I'll send you a msg after I get decisions. Thanks for reading my statement though


I hope the adcomms enjoy learning about falafel making, because they sure as shit aren't learning much about you. You'll likely get into the schools that your numbers allow for, so I won't need any private message to confirm such, but you aren't doing yourself too many favors with this statement.


That's your opinion, which is completely valid. Others who read it thought differently, and I gave it to many people to read and comment. Some 'regular' folks, some who know a lot about the app process and some who went through law school. The majority overall liked it. I'm not saying that some won't think what you think, and I respect your opinion. I believe that it works for me and my application which is very far from the avarege applicants in many parimiters.

Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.


Your welcome. Just remember, "regular folks" who you talk to face to face won't be nearly as honest or critical with you as anonymous internet users. Indeed, people in the US aren't, by and large, nearly as blunt as Israelis generally are (I lived in Israel for 5 months).

B90
Posts: 264
Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2012 3:08 pm

Re: Getting closer? An almost final fraft

Postby B90 » Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:56 pm

Not trying to be a bitch but I agree.[/quote]

This post combined with your avitar made me smile. Thank you.




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