Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
hutchjm
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:30 pm

Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby hutchjm » Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:02 am

Hello everyone. I am in the process of applying to law schools and if a few people could critique my GPA addendum that would be greatly appreciated. Please be honest. Thanks.

Dear Admissions Council:

My first four semesters at Auburn University are not indicative of my abilities as a student. During that time I suffered from uncontrolled Type 1 Diabetes. This disease developed into catarcts of both my eyes which severly impaired my vision. I had to have the lenses of both eyes surgically removed and artificial lenses implanted into my eyes during Fall of 2009 and Spring of 2010. Please see my personal statement for further information. I ask that this situation be taken into account when evaluating my suitability for admittance into your institution. Furthermore, I ask that you consider the cumulative GPA of 3.69 that I earned from my fifth semester until present as a more accurate indication of my ability to succeed in academia. My medical records are available upon request.

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fl0w
Posts: 1404
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 9:46 am

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby fl0w » Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:03 am

hutchjm wrote:Hello everyone. I am in the process of applying to law schools and if a few people could critique my GPA addendum that would be greatly appreciated. Please be honest. Thanks.

Dear Admissions Council:

My first four semesters at Auburn University are not indicative of my abilities as a student. During that time I suffered from uncontrolled Type 1 Diabetes. This disease developed into caused catarcts to develop inof both of my eyes, which severly impairinged my vision and negatively affecting my ability to perform academically. I had to have the lenses of both eyes surgically removed and artificial lenses implanted into my eyeslens replacement surgery for both eyes during Fall of 2009 and Spring of 2010. Please see my personal statement for further information. I ask that this situation be taken into account when evaluating my suitability for admittance into your institution. Furthermore, I ask that you consider the My cumulative GPA of since completion of corrective surgery is 3.69 that I earned from my fifth semester until present as a and is a more accurate indication of my ability to succeed in academia. My medical records are available upon request.



Suggestions. You do want to keep it as short and purely factual as possible.

hutchjm
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:30 pm

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby hutchjm » Sat Dec 08, 2012 11:34 am

fl0w wrote:
hutchjm wrote:Hello everyone. I am in the process of applying to law schools and if a few people could critique my GPA addendum that would be greatly appreciated. Please be honest. Thanks.

Dear Admissions Council:

My first four semesters at Auburn University are not indicative of my abilities as a student. During that time I suffered from uncontrolled Type 1 Diabetes. This disease developed into caused catarcts to develop inof both of my eyes, which severly impairinged my vision and negatively affecting my ability to perform academically. I had to have the lenses of both eyes surgically removed and artificial lenses implanted into my eyeslens replacement surgery for both eyes during Fall of 2009 and Spring of 2010. Please see my personal statement for further information. I ask that this situation be taken into account when evaluating my suitability for admittance into your institution. Furthermore, I ask that you consider the My cumulative GPA of since completion of corrective surgery is 3.69 that I earned from my fifth semester until present as a and is a more accurate indication of my ability to succeed in academia. My medical records are available upon request.



Suggestions. You do want to keep it as short and purely factual as possible.



Thank you so much Flow! I like it a lot better now! You Rock!

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rinkrat19
Posts: 13914
Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby rinkrat19 » Sat Dec 08, 2012 11:37 am

Spell catarActs properly. You've got it spelled 'catarcts.'

hutchjm
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:30 pm

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby hutchjm » Sat Dec 08, 2012 11:45 am

rinkrat19 wrote:Spell catarActs properly. You've got it spelled 'catarcts.'


My bad thanks for that.

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bluepenguin
Posts: 285
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:33 pm

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby bluepenguin » Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:23 pm

Is being a law student 'academia?'

hutchjm
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:30 pm

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby hutchjm » Sat Dec 08, 2012 2:40 pm

bluepenguin wrote:Is being a law student 'academia?'


Good point. I used academia to define the "academic world". I think I should change it just to prevent any possible negativity from adcoms. Thanks for that.

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fl0w
Posts: 1404
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2009 9:46 am

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby fl0w » Sat Dec 08, 2012 4:23 pm

and have multiple people read it because everyone will catch something different haha

hutchjm
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:30 pm

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby hutchjm » Sat Dec 08, 2012 5:43 pm

fl0w wrote:and have multiple people read it because everyone will catch something different haha


Yep! Lol!

hutchjm
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:30 pm

Re: Please Critique My GPA Addendum.

Postby hutchjm » Sat Dec 08, 2012 7:51 pm

This is my revised GPA addendum:

My first four semesters at Auburn University are not indicative of my abilities as a student. During that time I suffered from uncontrolled Type 1 Diabetes. This disease caused cataracts to develop in both of my eyes, severely impairing my vision and negatively affecting my ability to perform academically. I had lens replacement surgery for both eyes during Fall of 2009 and Spring of 2010. Please see my personal statement for further information. My cumulative GPA since completion of corrective surgery is 3.69 and is a more accurate indication of my ability to succeed in law school. My medical records are available upon request.




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