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please edit - appreciate all help!

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 4:18 pm
by JP5701
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Re: please edit - appreciate all help!

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 4:39 pm
by bluepenguin
I’ll admit there are days when I try to talk myself out of law school.

Unlike the majority of my peers, I have witnessed the unglamorous side of the law, the side they don’t portray on television shows or in John Grisham novels.

At this point in my life, I don’t know what area of law I want to practice. I just know that I will be entering law school with an open mind, an eagerness to learn, and a desire to help others.


Nononono.

Otherwise I actually really like it for match and safety schools (Grammar needs a tweak, though). Might be pressing your luck at a reach.

I am wondering, are you the receptionist or office manager?

Re: please edit - appreciate all help!

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:13 pm
by JP5701
I'm a legal office manager of an 8 attorney law firm. But I do everything - bookkeeping, reception, inventory, client intakes. I manage two paralegals under me and also help to prepare pleadings when needed.

Re: please edit - appreciate all help!

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 6:19 pm
by JP5701
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Re: please edit - appreciate all help!

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 7:30 pm
by bluepenguin
JP5701 wrote:I'm a legal office manager of an 8 attorney law firm. But I do everything - bookkeeping, reception, inventory, client intakes. I manage two paralegals under me and also help to prepare pleadings when needed.


I figured. You just want to keep the titles clear for the reader in the essay. I'd keep the reference to office manager and talk about answering phones in the second reference.

Re: please edit - appreciate all help!

Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2012 7:32 pm
by bluepenguin
I don't believe option B is as strong. Its poignant, but my first reaction is to the kid, my second reaction is to the quality of your parenting, and you come in third, which is not what you want.