"Why UVA" Please critique

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
BSC
Posts: 167
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 3:11 pm

"Why UVA" Please critique

Postby BSC » Tue Nov 20, 2012 5:36 pm

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Last edited by BSC on Fri Sep 27, 2013 1:12 am, edited 1 time in total.

BSC
Posts: 167
Joined: Thu Mar 31, 2011 3:11 pm

Re: "Why UVA" Please critique

Postby BSC » Tue Nov 20, 2012 9:40 pm

Anyone?

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defdef
Posts: 155
Joined: Wed Feb 08, 2012 6:11 am

Re: "Why UVA" Please critique

Postby defdef » Wed Nov 21, 2012 8:32 am

you have unnecessary ambivalence in the following sentences.

BSC wrote:Because my goal after law school is to work at a firm in Birmingham, the University of Virginia School of Law has naturally been on my list of schools to consider attending.


change to something like "The University of Virginia School of law has long been one of the schools I have most strongly considered as my goal after graduating is work as a lawyer in Birmingham."

I will admit to being impressed by classes at other law schools, but no other class observation experience can compare to my experience at UVA Law.


Why admit you were impressed by other schools? I mean you don't need to snivel, but just say something like "I attended class observations at several law schools, but there was no comparison - UVA Law was the clear fit for me and my goals."

All in all


cut that

obviously my rephrased sentences are not great, but you can see the tone difference. best of luck!




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