First draft of PS, please help!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
lawschool4
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 3:18 pm

First draft of PS, please help!

Postby lawschool4 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:11 pm

Please feel free to critique the shit out of my PS
Last edited by lawschool4 on Mon Feb 04, 2013 7:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

eleemosynary2
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:24 pm

Re: First draft of PS, please help!

Postby eleemosynary2 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:47 pm

Wow. First of all, I am sorry for your loss.

A minor point for now - don't use that quote. It makes it sound like your vision of lawyering is about lying, which I doubt is true. Also, don't use any quote at all for this essay - best to end with your own reflection or determined statement.

lawschool4
Posts: 33
Joined: Thu Aug 11, 2011 3:18 pm

Re: First draft of PS, please help!

Postby lawschool4 » Fri Nov 16, 2012 11:27 am

Thank you for your help!

basketball law guy
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 12:13 pm

Re: First draft of PS, please help!

Postby basketball law guy » Fri Nov 16, 2012 5:54 pm

First of all- really sorry for your loss.
Second of all- I love the story and I think it has the potential to be a very good PS> I don't have time to elaborate but proofread and shorten some of your sentences. Some of them are too long and cumbersome. Good luck- wish I had time to elaborate.




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