Critique my PS pleease

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
doyouevenlift
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:47 pm

Critique my PS pleease

Postby doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:26 pm

.
Last edited by doyouevenlift on Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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red52
Posts: 109
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:28 am

Re: Critique my PS pleease

Postby red52 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:48 pm

aware

doyouevenlift
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:47 pm

Re: Critique my PS pleease

Postby doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:52 pm

you're aware of my concern? is this a big issue, or do people get by on concentrating on stories which inspired them. I dont want this to be a resume.

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red52
Posts: 109
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:28 am

Re: Critique my PS pleease

Postby red52 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:59 pm

no sorry, "do you even lift?" is a slogan on a very popular internet forum, and people of whom are aware of these forums say "aware" to identify with each other. I apologize for responding, I just thought you would know what I was talking about. My apologies.

eleemosynary2
Posts: 43
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:24 pm

Re: Critique my PS pleease

Postby eleemosynary2 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:27 pm

mirin

doyouevenlift
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:47 pm

Re: Critique my PS pleease

Postby doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:38 pm

haha its all good i know what you're talking about. I wasn't even thinking

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msblaw89
Posts: 2669
Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:10 pm

Re: Critique my PS pleease

Postby msblaw89 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:48 pm

It sounds like you are trying too hard.You try to use alot of flowery language that just doesn't make sense. You have several misplaced modifiers and some verb tense issues. Try to get rid of passive voice. You do not talk nearly enough about why you want to study the law, and way too much about some riot. You can sum up most of what you said in about 3 sentences. Give a short background of the context, then go into explaining why and how that experience shaped your interests and why you think law school is right for you

doyouevenlift
Posts: 58
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:47 pm

Re: Critique my PS pleease

Postby doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:56 pm

Ah thank you for the advice, you are right.




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