I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Spikedude
Posts: 71
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:12 am

I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby Spikedude » Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:28 am

Revised and corrected! thanks everybody
Last edited by Spikedude on Tue Nov 13, 2012 5:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

WhirledWorld
Posts: 331
Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 11:04 am

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby WhirledWorld » Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:55 am

Looks great. Replace the semicolon with a comma at the end of the phrase "being dropped from all my classes." "Amission's [sic] officer" shouldn't have an apostrophe. "to please consider" is a split infinitive; maybe "to consider please" works better. Same thing with "to more accurately reflect," which I might rewrite as "more accurately reflects." In the final sentence, there should be a semicolon instead of a comma.

Non-mechanics aside, it looks great and ready for submission. I might consider dropping the projected GPA, since it seems a bit presumptuous.

Spikedude
Posts: 71
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:12 am

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby Spikedude » Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:56 am

Thanks a lot WhirledWorld, I don't think a more comprehensive or thorough analysis is even possible lol.

I will make the changes you suggested and consider my addendum finalized.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:02 am

CONSIDER: My cumulative GPA suffered due to financial difficulties which required that I work 40 hours per week while a full-time student. Below is a graph depicting my undergraduate GPA to date.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:06 am

I proposed the above brief approach because your original addendum fails to explain the second drop in your grades from Fall 2010 to Spring 2011.

Spikedude
Posts: 71
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:12 am

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby Spikedude » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:15 am

Thanks but I am not trying to explain or excuse myself for the GPA drop from Fall 2010 to Spring 2011.

It was small, I didn't break a new low, and I set a new high while recovering from it. I see it more as a correction in an otherwise positive trend.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:33 am

Then, as written, your GPA addendum is a bit too wordy, but it works.
Last edited by CanadianWolf on Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:44 am, edited 1 time in total.

Spikedude
Posts: 71
Joined: Tue Nov 13, 2012 1:12 am

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby Spikedude » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:43 am

With all due respect to the large number of posts you have on this site, my GPA addendum is only 40 words over the sample provided here: http://www.top-law-schools.com/how-to-w ... endum.html

As such, I find it to be slightly wordy but within an acceptable range.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: I've read this board a lot, please critique my GPA addendum

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Nov 13, 2012 11:47 am

If you're comfortable with the addendum in its current form, then use it since it offers a thorough explanation. Just be aware that it does not explain the second GPA drop--which some will certainly view as substantial.




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.