Page 1 of 1

1st draft of personal statement

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:32 am
by mmbowling
Hi guys,

This is a first draft for me and I'm looking for some meaningful feedback. All feedback is appreciated. THANK YOU!

Re: 1st draft of personal statement

Posted: Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:55 pm
by CanadianWolf
Sometimes less is more, and this is one of those times. You used six paragraphs to deliver three paragraphs' worth of material.

Re: 1st draft of personal statement

Posted: Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:54 am
by ht2988
You need to talk more about why you need to attend law school, and talk about it from the very beginning, maybe second paragraph at the latest. It's well written, but doesn't deliver on the main point which IMO must be why you need to attend law school.