1st draft of personal statement

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mmbowling
Posts: 11
Joined: Mon Jul 02, 2012 4:22 pm

1st draft of personal statement

Postby mmbowling » Sun Nov 11, 2012 10:32 am

Hi guys,

This is a first draft for me and I'm looking for some meaningful feedback. All feedback is appreciated. THANK YOU!
Last edited by mmbowling on Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: 1st draft of personal statement

Postby CanadianWolf » Sun Nov 11, 2012 12:55 pm

Sometimes less is more, and this is one of those times. You used six paragraphs to deliver three paragraphs' worth of material.

ht2988
Posts: 482
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2010 11:07 pm

Re: 1st draft of personal statement

Postby ht2988 » Mon Nov 12, 2012 1:54 am

You need to talk more about why you need to attend law school, and talk about it from the very beginning, maybe second paragraph at the latest. It's well written, but doesn't deliver on the main point which IMO must be why you need to attend law school.




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