Hi,everybody. I need your comments on my first draft ps.. I know my writing is not good~
but besides the bad writing, how do you guys feel about my ps? what do you think of its theme? it's midnight in my country now but i'm waiting for your feedbacks!
On December 20, 2011, in the night colder than usual, I walked on the crowded street alone. It was the first day of my first winter vacation in JD period. I just survived from the days I read papers and cases until 2 o’clock in every early morning. Five days later, it was Christmas, so on the street, Christmas trees with baubles were placed everywhere. Hong Kong, what a different place from Chinese Mainland! Walking on the street like that, I always suddenly felt that I was walking on a street in America, the country I dreamt of four years ago. In the deep night, I got back to my 8-square-meter room, and lay on my bed. I asked myself:“ Do you still remember your dream?”
Yes, of course I do. In 2008, my third year of undergraduate, in a class of International Economic Law, Professor Liu sincerely said:“ every time there is a business-related dispute between China and America, we have to hire American lawyers, as in China, the lawyers proficient in American laws are few. It is a great pity for China”. What he said touched me a lot, and I then told myself:” I must study in America to become a legal expert to solve business-related disputes between China and America.”
In 2009, my fourth year in the university, I took the Law School Admission Test (LSAT), but I did not do my best, so I had to cancel the result. After that test, I was depressed for a long time, I felt that it was time to say goodbye to my dream. But, I never gave up. I believed that although others may take a year to do a thing that I may take two, even three years, anyhow, I can do that.
In 2010, I graduated from the university with Magna Cum Laude honors, and came to the Chinese University of Hong Kong (CUHK) as an LLM student to further study the International Economic Law. While I was studying in LLM, I became the only person who got accepted as a student intern in the Court of Final Appeal of Hong Kong. That internship spot was originally reserved only for elite young PRC judges and prosecutors who are elected by the PRC Supreme People’s Court and the PRC Supreme People's Procuratorate. What’s more incredible was that I had Patrick Chan, the current Permanent Judge of the Court of Final Appeal of Hong Kong, as my mentor. My classmates asked me what I did to win this internship opportunity. I answered, “My assertiveness and courage let me attain the impossible.” Back in March 2011, I volunteered to be a court bailiff in the 9th Red Cross International Humanitarian Law Moot (Asian-Specific Region). Patrick Chan was the President for the contest’s finals. Many other volunteer helpers feared his dignity and they did not dare to approach him. On the other hand, I thought this was perhaps my only chance in my whole life to get to know the Permanent Judge whom I respect the most. I must grasp this opportunity! Then, I gathered my courage, walked up to him, and introduced myself. Perhaps Judge Chan was also surprised by my bravery, we had a wonderful conversation and I told him about my “Dream”. He also recognized my dream, so he gave me his card and invited me to be a summer student intern in his office. This incident made me realize that being assertive and courageous to seize valuable opportunities can carry you a long way.
In April, 2011, I was accepted by the JD program in CUHK. But, I did not want to give up my dream still. In June, 2011, I took the LSAT again, and obtained my first LSAT score, 158. Depending on that, I knew I could study law in America at that time, but not in my dream law school-xx, so, I decided to quit. It was my first time to say quit to myself, and I began to think maybe studying in Hong Kong was a good choice too. In September, 2011, I began my JD course in Hong Kong. Under very strong stress from JD study, I passed the first semester unconsciously. Without knowing why, at the moment I finished my last test, a voice from my deep heart asked me:” Is it a right road for me?” I thought for two days and two nights, asking myself repeatedly:” if my target is to be a legal expert to solve the business-related disputes between China and America, how can I master American laws when studying laws in Hong Kong?” I realized, if I continued escaping, I would go far from my dream. Yes, I should not find any excuse or fallback for myself. If I did not struggle for my dream when I was young, I would definitely regret when I am old.
On January 19, 2012, I submitted my withdrawal of JD application. On February 12, 2012, I took the LSAT again, and I achieved the score of X, which made me closer to my dream.
Now, I am a lawyer in a famous Chinese law firm. In the past year, I changed my identity a lot, from a freshman in JD, to a paralegal to a lawyer now. From a green hand without any practice to a young lawyer who can cooperate with investment banks such as Morgan Stanley and Piper Jaffray to finish IPO projects, I grew up and learned a lot. I became mature and calm. As a lawyer in the fields of business law and company law, my working content was not full of Dershowitz-style debates, shock in Boston Legal, passionate quoting or voluble eloquence in the court. However, what I need are strict and patient attitude in treating law, good writing ability and team spirit. I still remembered the eve when a prospectus should be delivered to Hong Kong Stock Exchange, as a project team, we had worked from 8:30 am to 2:00 am next morning for four days continuously. We checked, discussed and modified the prospectus, for every sentence, even every word again and again. As a young lawyer, this work made me realize that lawyer was not a romantic job, and to be an excellent lawyer, you should not only be passionate, but also be rigorous and responsible to laws and clients with team spirit.
Giving up Hong Kong JD, I took some risks, but I never regret. As I knew I was walking on my way leading to my dream again. To be a lawyer, I stepped up the legal expert dream for business-related disputes between China and America in practice further.
Looking back these years, I always struggled with failures, and always achieved experiences and grew up from the failures. The dream in 2008 and the perseverance for XX law school shaped me, who now is a lawyer having work experiences in Hong Kong and Chinese Mainland and with LLB and LLM degrees.
Sometimes I doubted that I was not clever enough, but I never doubted I would be successful. Because I insisted on my dream and was willing to pay everything for my dream.