personal enough?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
HornedFrogs
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:36 pm

personal enough?

Postby HornedFrogs » Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:36 pm

Walking into my first day of Entrepreneurial Leadership, I remember thinking, “Am I really taking this class? This is a joke!” Even the professor looked like he would fall asleep any minute. I took Leadership in high school and recalled it being not very beneficial. This Entrepreneurial Leadership class was a required course, though, for one of my majors. I could use the extra time, anyway, to work on my other classes. After all, I was taking a class that semester that I did not have the prerequisites for so I figured all of my time would be taken trying to play catch up in that class. What I didn’t expect was to learn a great deal about myself that would actually be applicable to the way in which I not only deal with others but how I carry myself. I left that class with a personal mission statement that still holds true today.

In this Entrepreneurial Leadership class, we were asked to poll peers, superiors, and family members about what they thought our three most important strengths and weakness were; then discuss our opinions about their thoughts. Interestingly, a majority of the answers for my strengths were the same: commitment to detail, consideration toward others and efficiency.

Consideration towards others was an attribute that was mentioned as both a strength and weakness for me. People want to be known and valued but I have learned doing this to the point of not paying attention to what your needs are can be detrimental to your personal well-being and career success. The best example of this is when I was trying new clubs during my first couple of years of undergraduate. I over committed myself to several community out-reach programs. I was always running around to meetings and events for those obligations, and I overlooked my school and personal obligations. That eventually led to a huge stress break down. I have learned to be more efficient and now it is one of my strengths.

I thoroughly understood the response about commitment to detail. I became a wedding planner to help pay back student loans. While planning weddings, I learned that I like to make small things count in major ways towards the big picture. Adding little details, like pre-set food for the bride and groom or running a lint roller over the wedding party before going down the aisle, are things most people don’t think about but can make a big difference to wedding logistics.

Although I guarantee the details, I also ensure I am efficient in doing so. Running around all day by myself to pick up items for a wedding would be inefficient and exhausting. Instead, depending on the size of the wedding I make sure there is always at least two assistants assigned to help me. I used to be the type of person to do one thing at a time. Then I discovered that not only does doing one thing at a time make tasks drag out longer than is necessary but it is simply not a smart use of time.

Once I understood what my strengths were, I was able to better utilize them to my advantage in school and at work. Since that class I have been able to successfully live out the following mission statement that I created in my Entrepreneurial Leadership class by collecting my thoughts, continually learning new skills and broadening my networks: I will use practicality and creativity when approaching complex issues. I will enjoy my work by finding employment that allows me to plan, organize and create. I will be an advocate in my community for youth sports programs and mentor programs. I will find opportunities that enhance my positivity, and decision-making skills. My life’s journey is about making my community, both locally and internationally, a place where I would want my children to grow up. I will be a person that my entire family would say gave more than I took from every aspect of my life.

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boredtodeath
Posts: 632
Joined: Tue May 08, 2012 3:37 pm

Re: personal enough?

Postby boredtodeath » Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:27 pm

I was honestly pretty bored by this PS and after the first paragraph or so I basically skimmed. The first paragraph has a lot of muddled language about classes; why do you even mention that you were going to do work for another class during your leadership class?

I got to the part where you talked about the survey and didn't want to read anymore. It seemed like you were going to just talk yourself up the rest of the time and seemed disingenuous.

Sorry if that was harsh but I think you might want to choose a different topic, or frame your experience in this class in a different way.

honeycomb
Posts: 79
Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 10:26 pm

Re: personal enough?

Postby honeycomb » Thu Oct 25, 2012 5:34 pm

I was a bit worried when you were going to use just one class for your entire PS, but really after you introduce the survey I instantly thought the class was just an excuse to talk up your best and worst qualities.

If you can show those qualities rather than just telling the AdComms that you possess them, you'll be more on the right track.

HornedFrogs
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Oct 23, 2012 5:36 pm

Re: personal enough?

Postby HornedFrogs » Thu Oct 25, 2012 6:36 pm

Haha ok well I give up

honeycomb
Posts: 79
Joined: Mon May 28, 2012 10:26 pm

Re: personal enough?

Postby honeycomb » Thu Oct 25, 2012 11:45 pm

Don't give up! Maybe writing about being a wedding planner could be unique and could show all of these qualities without telling. Of course you'd have to avoid the pitfall of not connecting it to law, but a narrative about planning a wedding could be really unique and interesting.




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