Help me please!!

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
azel
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:05 pm

Help me please!!

Postby azel » Wed Oct 24, 2012 6:09 pm

Please read my personal statement. I am a horrible writer and I have spent some time trying to perfect it. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

After graduating college with a degree in finance I was offered my dream job as a manager with an international engineering firm in Torino, Italy. However, soon after my visit to the firm the company was unable to fund the position and I retuned to Marriott as a desk clerk, a job I had held as a summer position during college. I returned at a time when the corporate rating for the hotel was nearing the “Red Zone,” meaning changes were crucial. Marriott offered me the position of Front Office Manager, making me the youngest manager in the company. My responsibilities included managing the front desk, phone operators, bellmen and the gift shop for a 392-room hotel. From these dubious beginnings I was able to build an energetic team that often scored number one in the company.

Building a strong team was key in raising our scores. I designed and created a new training program that focused on customer service. Considerable time was spent going over Marriott standards and reviewing the computer program. I found the best way to teach customer service was by example so I made a personal obligation to be at the front desk and interact with guests as much as possible. Motivating staff with sagging morale was not easy, but I found creative ways to give praise and recognition to staff, which included large incentives such as monetary bonuses down to the enthusiastic high-fives for a job well done. I became my staffs’ personal cheerleader and never gave up on them and their potential.

In addition to building a successful front office staff, I found myself a part of a larger team, a team of managers who worked together to create an exceptional experience in hospitality for our guests. Each manager brought a different perspective and skill set to the team. Other department heads often asked me for advice on staff scheduling and employee relations. I went out of my way to help other managers succeed so we could succeed as a hotel. Staff morale and hotel scores began to improve.

One of the most outstanding challenges I faced was conflicts among staff and guests which never failed to surprise me. Challenges included responding to the requests of the United States President Obama’s Security Staff, an infestation of bed bugs, a power outage with failed backup generators, personal threats by a terminated employee, and guests who nearly overdosed in the hotel on multiple occasions. I became the hotel negotiator to frustrated guests, unhappy staff members and demanding hotel clients.

Every day was a challenge where the lows consisted of tears, sleep deprivation and utter chaos, while the highs included positive feedback from guests, staff and upper management. There was never a dull day of work and within a single year I had experienced the thrill of a job well done and accomplishments far beyond expectations set before me. I turned the hotel around with a team I organized and trained that was the envy of other managers at the hotel.

Although there were rumors that I was being groomed for a general manager’s position, I resigned from the hotel and accepted a position as a legal assistant with a small law firm. During my time as manager, I was attracted to the legal aspects of hotel management. This attraction to law was built on interests developed during business ethics and law courses taken in college.

My legal experiences have validated my decision to pursue a legal career in business. Working for Marriott gave me an opportunity to hone my interpersonal and management skills and realize my enthusiasm for hospitality and business. Through my experiences at the law firm, I have reaffirmed my intense interest in law. I look forward to fulfilling both of my passions through business law.



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