First draft for my PS - all advice/criticism appreciated :)

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
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Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

First draft for my PS - all advice/criticism appreciated :)

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:53 pm

If someone told the 18 year-old (my name) that he would someday apply to law school, he would have scowled, jumped on his long board, and hightailed down the street. Growing up with a corporate lawyer for a father, he viewed the profession as a pool for pretentious sharks in suits to reap fat paychecks from long hours of dull, yet avaricious work. At 18 years-old, his main interests were playing hockey and attending local punk rock shows. His future was the last thing on his mind.

Looking back on who I was at the time, I regret not only my “edgy” clothing and Kurt Cobain-esque haircut, but my lack of desire to pursue any substantial goals. “Late bloomer,” is perhaps the best phrase to describe me, for now at 24, I am entirely driven by my goals. While I have matured in many regards over the past few years, one facet of my personality has remained solid throughout my life; I have always fought for the underdog. In elementary school, after experiencing torment for requiring assistance from an aid in class, I made it my personal responsibility to stand up for the targets of bullying- which I was disheartened to find increasingly infused with homophobia and sexism as the school years passed. My most valuable, and also rewarding experience in my youth was volunteering as a swim coach for children with special needs, a position that later influenced me far more than I ever anticipated.

After high school, I began what I thought would be a tedious journey to a degree in whatever my parents told me to major in at Capilano University. However, my life took a turn during my second year when I enrolled in a class called, “Sociology of the Global South” which analyzed the debt issues of impoverished nations. Suddenly, the frustration I had always felt against racial, class, and gender struggles were presented to me in an academic format: sociology. Discovering a professional outlet for the issues I had always cared about turned my aimlessness into passion. Consequently, I put my effort into transferring to UBC, a school I grew up believing to be too prestigious for my standards. Receiving my acceptance letter in the spring of 2010 was one of my proudest moments as an adult.

At UBC, I realized that the career path I spurned so early in life was in fact, the best route for me. Through my major, I developed a detailed understanding of social welfare, and how to use critical thought and well-constructed arguments to promote it. A law degree from (x university) will undoubtedly provide me with the best tools to turn my knowledge of social justice issues of which the law is core into legal practice. I am highly impressed by the many graduates of (x law school) who have gone on to successful careers with CLAIHR and CELA, and feel entirely positive that I have the ability and the drive to someday be one of them. I will never be a shark in a suit, and I admit that my visions of being a white knight for the underprivileged are idealistic; it does take more than one person to bring about mass social change. However, what I can promise to be is an honest, righteous man in a suit devoted to using his Juris Doctorate degree to make strides of any size for both justice in Canada and human rights around the globe.
Last edited by Anonymous User on Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273205
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: First draft for my PS - all advice/criticism appreciated :)

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:59 pm

To put this in context, my grades aren't great (3.3 CGPA, 3.5 last/best 2 years) and not much volunteer experience/internship work, so I wanted to take a different approach to the PS.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: First draft for my PS - all advice/criticism appreciated :)

Postby CanadianWolf » Tue Oct 23, 2012 6:59 pm

Enjoyed reading your PS. Apply to Victoria. Visit http://www.lawstudents.ca

Anonymous User
Posts: 273205
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: First draft for my PS - all advice/criticism appreciated :)

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 23, 2012 7:30 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:Enjoyed reading your PS. Apply to Victoria. Visit http://www.lawstudents.ca


Thanks, and I frequent that website often, great resource centre for all Canadian schools.
Victoria is my first choice in schools, but my chances are pretty slim.




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