UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
User avatar
Honey_Badger
Posts: 195
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:57 pm

UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby Honey_Badger » Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:15 pm

.
Last edited by Honey_Badger on Thu Oct 25, 2012 12:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

heyunthebushes
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue May 29, 2012 1:36 am

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby heyunthebushes » Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:31 pm

I would forgoe the figurative start. I was told by an admissions persone that personal/diversity statements are the place for figurative/emotive language. In addemdums, They are looking for your ability to be concise, so state only the relevant facts to your "case." Brevity is the soul of wit.

User avatar
Honey_Badger
Posts: 195
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:57 pm

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby Honey_Badger » Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:38 pm

Thanks--I feel like my boredom in school is what led me to lead a lazy life approach to school as a youngin'. Best way to say that? (Eating sand part is out, is what you are saying, yes?)

canarykb
Posts: 151
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:56 am

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby canarykb » Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:49 pm

I agree that the tone of this is a little off. An addendum should be clear and simple, just stating the facts. The eating sand bit is too much for this, and similarly " decade later with a myriad of work experience under my belt, the concept of relentless work was deeply engrained." is too wordy. This should be written in a very different style that a PS. Rewrite this thinking how you might explain a gap in employment or any other hole in your application in a cover letter or in an interview: brief, clear, professional.

User avatar
danielr
Posts: 130
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:38 pm

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby danielr » Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:51 pm

If you're looking for honesty...

I would recommend you scrap any discussion of your "boredom" with school. The explanation for your underperformance sounds pretentious. You need to be humble, and explain that (if this is the case) you were too immature to realize that what you do at university matters, that you don't know everything, or at least enough to be complacent with your education.

The discussion of your work ethic doesn't really make a lot of sense given the context. If instead of what you have here you explain that in udergrad you had to work a lot of demanding jobs, experienced a high-risk pregnancy, and did not fully appreciate the value of your education on top of it all, then you can mention your "relentless work" attitude.

If I were you, I would omit all mention of being considered a "gifted child" and being bored with school. That doesn't reflect well on your character, even if you've changed over the years. Just admit to immaturity (again, if that is the case...we don't know each other at all), and make a case for the more recent GPA as more reflective of who you are and what you are capable of.

rebexness
Posts: 4163
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2011 6:24 am

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby rebexness » Tue Oct 23, 2012 12:59 pm

Last edited by rebexness on Mon Feb 09, 2015 5:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

heyunthebushes
Posts: 8
Joined: Tue May 29, 2012 1:36 am

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby heyunthebushes » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:03 pm

danielr wrote:If you're looking for honesty...

I would recommend you scrap any discussion of your "boredom" with school. The explanation for your underperformance sounds pretentious. You need to be humble, and explain that (if this is the case) you were too immature to realize that what you do at university matters, that you don't know everything, or at least enough to be complacent with your education.

The discussion of your work ethic doesn't really make a lot of sense given the context. If instead of what you have here you explain that in udergrad you had to work a lot of demanding jobs, experienced a high-risk pregnancy, and did not fully appreciate the value of your education on top of it all, then you can mention your "relentless work" attitude.

If I were you, I would omit all mention of being considered a "gifted child" and being bored with school. That doesn't reflect well on your character, even if you've changed over the years. Just admit to immaturity (again, if that is the case...we don't know each other at all), and make a case for the more recent GPA as more reflective of who you are and what you are capable of.


I agree. You start to get to your point better towards the end. Someone told me, "Avoid any hints of making excuses." Simply cop to the fact that you were too immature to take school seriously, but your real world experience taught you how rewarding hard work could be, and, as danielr said, "your more recent gpa is more reflective..."

rad lulz
Posts: 9844
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:53 pm

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby rad lulz » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:14 pm

"I didn't give a crap" is not a good reason to write an addendum.

User avatar
Honey_Badger
Posts: 195
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:57 pm

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby Honey_Badger » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:51 pm

heyunthebushes wrote:
danielr wrote:If you're looking for honesty...

I would recommend you scrap any discussion of your "boredom" with school. The explanation for your underperformance sounds pretentious. You need to be humble, and explain that (if this is the case) you were too immature to realize that what you do at university matters, that you don't know everything, or at least enough to be complacent with your education.

The discussion of your work ethic doesn't really make a lot of sense given the context. If instead of what you have here you explain that in udergrad you had to work a lot of demanding jobs, experienced a high-risk pregnancy, and did not fully appreciate the value of your education on top of it all, then you can mention your "relentless work" attitude.

If I were you, I would omit all mention of being considered a "gifted child" and being bored with school. That doesn't reflect well on your character, even if you've changed over the years. Just admit to immaturity (again, if that is the case...we don't know each other at all), and make a case for the more recent GPA as more reflective of who you are and what you are capable of.


I agree. You start to get to your point better towards the end. Someone told me, "Avoid any hints of making excuses." Simply cop to the fact that you were too immature to take school seriously, but your real world experience taught you how rewarding hard work could be, and, as danielr said, "your more recent gpa is more reflective..."


Thanks--I actually referred to the beginning as "excuses," in a PM, so I'll rework it. I honestly figured 'immaturity' (while totally true) was a less compelling reason than all the other shit.
Thanks for all the good feedback everyone!

User avatar
Honey_Badger
Posts: 195
Joined: Mon Jun 04, 2012 8:57 pm

Re: UGPA Adden....Don't Be Gentle, my GPA is <25%

Postby Honey_Badger » Tue Oct 23, 2012 1:51 pm

rad lulz wrote:"I didn't give a crap" is not a good reason to write an addendum.


Well, I was going to go with "I was a lazy fucktard," but spellcheck didn't recognize it.
:wink:




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.