overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
josemnz83
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overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby josemnz83 » Sat Oct 20, 2012 9:00 pm

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Last edited by josemnz83 on Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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LoveLife89
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Re: overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby LoveLife89 » Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:05 pm

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Last edited by LoveLife89 on Mon Oct 22, 2012 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

josemnz83
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Re: overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby josemnz83 » Sat Oct 20, 2012 11:43 pm

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Last edited by josemnz83 on Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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SumStalwart
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Re: overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby SumStalwart » Sun Oct 21, 2012 11:43 am

I think that it might benefit you to write your personal statement on being dismissed from law school and what you have done since then. Then you can do the separate "overcoming adversity" paper, discussing the relationship that you had with your parents (specifically your Mom), then address the illness.

This way, you can explain the "elephant in the room," i.e. your dismissal from law school, and then frame it in such a way that it demonstrates your emotional and intellectual growth. For the addendum, it will allow you to show how you grew up with difficult circumstances, but, through it all, you were able to prevail. They are both emotional stories, which you can leverage to demonstrate your intellectual capabilities, your drive, and your growth since your dismissal.

Good luck with your readmission into law school!

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LoveLife89
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Re: overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby LoveLife89 » Sun Oct 21, 2012 4:48 pm

josemnz83 wrote:Thanks for the feedback. I agree with your assessment. The law school I am interested allows candidates to turn in 1) a personal statement and 2)an attachment explaining how the candidate has dealt with adversity in the past. Alternatively the candidate can combine the two into a personal statement, which is what I tried to do.

I'm beginning to think that it would be best for me to separate the two. Do you agree?

Option 1
Personal statement-story about overcoming language barrier and dealing with new culture (2 pages)
Attachment- show how I have overcome adversity (mother's illness) (1 page)

Option 2
Personal statement- story about how I have matured since been dismissed from law school, including mom (2 pages)
Attachment- show how I have overcome adversity (language) (1 page)

Option 3
Please tell me!!! :mrgreen:


check your PM

josemnz83
Posts: 62
Joined: Tue Jun 19, 2012 4:19 pm

Re: overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby josemnz83 » Sun Oct 21, 2012 7:23 pm

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Last edited by josemnz83 on Mon Oct 22, 2012 9:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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SumStalwart
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Re: overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby SumStalwart » Sun Oct 21, 2012 8:37 pm

DO NOT SUBMIT THIS:
josemnz83 wrote:My inability to prioritize and balance my time wisely resulted in an academic dismissal from law school, and I accept full responsibility for such.


I know that the question frames it in such a way that you have to explain why there was a lapse, but you really cannot put yourself in a negative light. Do not conclude with that. Even though it's probably the truth, you don't want to put those words in the admissions officers' mouths. Try rewording it so that it focuses more on the positives (i.e. your responsibility since then).

Since you have a lot of adversity that you have been dealt and overcome, I sincerely urge you to discuss various aspects in each of your mandatory and voluntary essays. Take the time to figure out the strengths of each of the situations, and exploit them. However, the more recent experiences are more valuable to the admissions councils.

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Honey_Badger
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Re: overcoming adversity personal statement. feedback

Postby Honey_Badger » Sun Oct 21, 2012 9:51 pm

josemnz83 wrote:I think I was trying to do too much on my personal statement. One of the character and fitness questions asks if I have ever been dismissed from law school. I think it is best if I address the issue there. Please look over it and critique it brutally!! :mrgreen:

Law School Dismissal
I graduated from Texas A&M University when I was twenty years old and moved away from home for the first time to begin my full time law studies at SMU Law School. A month after law classes began I discovered that my scholarships and financial aid were insufficient to cover my basic living expenses so I was granted permission by the Associate Dean to participate in a work study program. I was assigned a job as a legal assistant at Dallas Central Ministries, a non-profit legal organization. It was difficult for me to balance my full time course load, my job, and the new freedom afforded to me by living on my own for the first time. As the semester went by, I gradually neglected my legal studies and my family more and more. During Thanksgiving break, for example, I decided to drive to Kansas to spend time with my “new” friends rather than visiting my family or preparing for my law school exams. On the way there, I heard my phone vibrate; it was a text message from my brother asking me to call mom because she missed me. I ignored the message and continued driving.
The rest of my first year was very similar; I continued working at the legal center, briefly skimmed the assigned cases, and did not prepare for my law school exams. During my second year I took an immigration law course. Unlike my previous courses, I read each case thoroughly and diligently prepared for class. After earning the highest grade in the course, I accepted a full time law clerk position at an immigration firm. There I was in charge of conducting legal research, writing memorandums of law, and meeting with clients. I fell in love with the job and spent more time analyzing the issues of the cases at work than the assigned cases for class. Gradually I stopped reading any of the assigned cases and eventually stopped attending class. At the end of the semester I was unprepared for the exams and failed to attempt any of them. I received failing grades in all and was academically dismissed from law school.
My inability to prioritize and balance my time wisely resulted in an academic dismissal from law school, and I accept full responsibility for such.


I would take this out...you don't mention it again, and it seems out of place here.
I agree with Sum in that it's ok to accept responsibility; you are doing that by writing this statement. But I would definitely frame it in a more "I saw the light and learned my lesson" statement.




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