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Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:49 am
by Anonymous User
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Re: Personal Statement First Draft, Please Critique

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 10:31 am
by alex.feuerman
Take this out: Throughout the semester I can remember several times when I left class and cried the entire forty-five minutes back to my University.

Talk more about yourself....this doesn't really tell me who YOU are. I like the Qing Dinasty class stuff, maybe elaborate a little. It seems scattered...

Re: Personal Statement First Draft, Please Critique

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:51 pm
by canarykb
this is too much like an overdone TFA essay.

Re: Personal Statement First Draft, Please Critique

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:59 pm
by Anonymous User
Thanks for the help, back to the drawing board