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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Anonymous User
Posts: 273147
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

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Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:49 am

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Last edited by Anonymous User on Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

alex.feuerman
Posts: 147
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2012 2:32 pm

Re: Personal Statement First Draft, Please Critique

Postby alex.feuerman » Thu Oct 18, 2012 10:31 am

Take this out: Throughout the semester I can remember several times when I left class and cried the entire forty-five minutes back to my University.

Talk more about yourself....this doesn't really tell me who YOU are. I like the Qing Dinasty class stuff, maybe elaborate a little. It seems scattered...

canarykb
Posts: 151
Joined: Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:56 am

Re: Personal Statement First Draft, Please Critique

Postby canarykb » Thu Oct 18, 2012 12:51 pm

this is too much like an overdone TFA essay.
Last edited by canarykb on Thu Oct 18, 2012 2:08 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Anonymous User
Posts: 273147
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Personal Statement First Draft, Please Critique

Postby Anonymous User » Thu Oct 18, 2012 1:59 pm

Thanks for the help, back to the drawing board




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