Post-revision draft. Be brutal, please.

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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eyescream
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2012 3:47 pm

Post-revision draft. Be brutal, please.

Postby eyescream » Thu Oct 11, 2012 3:36 pm

Thanks for the help!
Last edited by eyescream on Sat Oct 13, 2012 6:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jmart154
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Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 6:30 pm

Re: Post-revision draft. Be brutal, please.

Postby jmart154 » Thu Oct 11, 2012 6:42 pm

You write well, that's for sure. That being said, I think it's important not to lose sight of your purpose with the personal statement. What I gathered from this is that this one incident led to your fascination with the justice system, and now you want to become a lawyer. This is great and all, but it does not showcase why YOU should be admitted to a law program. What makes you special, and more deserving than all the rest? The PS is your chance to showcase why you're awesome, to show the adcomms what they can't know about you from just reading your CV, grades, LSAT, and even letters of reference.

Just a suggestion, but I think you could go a long way with this advice in mind.

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eyescream
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Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2012 3:47 pm

Re: Post-revision draft. Be brutal, please.

Postby eyescream » Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:10 pm

Great suggestion, jmart. I'll probably pop that in for a few paragraphs near the end. Any ideas on how to implement? Maybe what worked or what didn't work for you?

Thanks again.

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eyescream
Posts: 52
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2012 3:47 pm

Re: Post-revision draft. Be brutal, please.

Postby eyescream » Fri Oct 12, 2012 4:37 pm

Gunna bump once to see if there's any more feedback out there.




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