Deleted. Thanks for your input!

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Anonymous User
Posts: 273311
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Deleted. Thanks for your input!

Postby Anonymous User » Mon Oct 01, 2012 1:47 am

Thank you for your input!
Last edited by Anonymous User on Sat Oct 06, 2012 12:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Spritzpiggy
Posts: 229
Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:57 am

Re: Please help! Single Mother PS..1st draft...Need feedback Pls

Postby Spritzpiggy » Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:18 am

Hi there, your PS is very informative but I feel like it just scratches the surface of every subject it brings up. I would focus on one event that can illustrate your character. Maybe start by introducing your work with struggling families and then compare that to your own upbringing and how you've been able to turn your life around now. Another suggestion would be to remove the GPA you graduated with. I think it is wonderful that you were able to succeed in the spite of so many obstacles, but adcoms will have your transcript and will be able to see your GPA. Hope this helps, I'll be glad to help more so feel free to PM me as you continue working on your drafts.

meimei32
Posts: 14
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:37 pm

Re: Please help! Single Mother PS..1st draft...Need feedback Pls

Postby meimei32 » Mon Oct 01, 2012 10:21 am

The number of struggles you've overcome is impressive to say the least, but I would be careful about your PS becoming just a list of every bad thing that's happened in your life. I would narrow your focus onto one or two topics, as the previous poster suggested. Although I don't love the execution of your first paragraph, I do like the comparison of the other mothers' preconceived notions compared to your life growing up (on food stamps, etc.). I think you should begin with that, describe your family/financial situation growing up, having to work full time after high school, unstable living situation and becoming a single mother (i.e. you were on track to become a statistic). Then talk about how motherhood changed your perspective, and your experience with the legal system made you realize the need for more affordable/accessible legal help. Then focus on your volunteering experience. Since you're a non-traditional applicant I would touch more specifically on what you want to do with your law degree in your conclusion, and tie your introduction back into it (i.e. want to help more single mothers break the statistics/preconceived notions by providing accessible legal help).

I would NOT mention your DUI here, that should be in an addendum. I also would not mention much or anything about your grades, that should also be an addendum. Good Luck!

Anonymous User
Posts: 273311
Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am

Re: Please help! Single Mother PS..1st draft...Need feedback Pls

Postby Anonymous User » Tue Oct 02, 2012 12:16 am

Thank you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it. Time to start on my 2nd draft...




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