I can't quite figure out which road I want to take with my PS. I have two ideas but both are only fragments. I appreciate any suggestions offered.
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Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have? Forum
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bobbypin
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Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have?
Last edited by bobbypin on Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:50 am, edited 1 time in total.
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christinenyoung
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Re: Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have?
I like the second one better. The first one is kind of something we all relate too and I can hear the admissions reading it going, "so what? I am too."
The second has the potential to give a glimpse into your life as well as explain why you're going to law school, but caution not to make it seem like this is your last resort.
Also, I don't think the sentences connect or flow well..
Try doing something like this:
As the child of an abusive, single mother, the outlook of my life looked grim. However, even when the choices were mine to make, without a proper role model, it seemed I was still on a downward spiral waiting to become another statistic. Continuing the pattern, I found myself married and pregnant at 17. It wasn't until I had to divorce my abusive husband that I finally decided to turn my life around.
The second has the potential to give a glimpse into your life as well as explain why you're going to law school, but caution not to make it seem like this is your last resort.
Also, I don't think the sentences connect or flow well..
Try doing something like this:
As the child of an abusive, single mother, the outlook of my life looked grim. However, even when the choices were mine to make, without a proper role model, it seemed I was still on a downward spiral waiting to become another statistic. Continuing the pattern, I found myself married and pregnant at 17. It wasn't until I had to divorce my abusive husband that I finally decided to turn my life around.
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Liquox
- Posts: 275
- Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:46 pm
Re: Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have?
interesting stories; both could use a little more organization.
as for which to use, the first isn't strong enough to be a personal statement. the second one is strong but reads like a diversity statement. don't focus so much on trying to prove to law schools that you are consult-able? (is that even a word?). focus on a single event. it seems like you're good at thinking on your feet; talk about how you learned to program. go into details.
good luck in law school.
as for which to use, the first isn't strong enough to be a personal statement. the second one is strong but reads like a diversity statement. don't focus so much on trying to prove to law schools that you are consult-able? (is that even a word?). focus on a single event. it seems like you're good at thinking on your feet; talk about how you learned to program. go into details.
good luck in law school.
