Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have?

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have?

Postby bobbypin » Tue Sep 04, 2012 2:46 am

I can't quite figure out which road I want to take with my PS. I have two ideas but both are only fragments. I appreciate any suggestions offered.

Last edited by bobbypin on Tue Sep 11, 2012 12:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Re: Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have?

Postby christinenyoung » Tue Sep 04, 2012 11:31 pm

I like the second one better. The first one is kind of something we all relate too and I can hear the admissions reading it going, "so what? I am too."

The second has the potential to give a glimpse into your life as well as explain why you're going to law school, but caution not to make it seem like this is your last resort.

Also, I don't think the sentences connect or flow well..

Try doing something like this:

As the child of an abusive, single mother, the outlook of my life looked grim. However, even when the choices were mine to make, without a proper role model, it seemed I was still on a downward spiral waiting to become another statistic. Continuing the pattern, I found myself married and pregnant at 17. It wasn't until I had to divorce my abusive husband that I finally decided to turn my life around.

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Re: Struggling with writer's block. Critique what I have?

Postby Liquox » Wed Sep 05, 2012 1:25 am

interesting stories; both could use a little more organization.

as for which to use, the first isn't strong enough to be a personal statement. the second one is strong but reads like a diversity statement. don't focus so much on trying to prove to law schools that you are consult-able? (is that even a word?). focus on a single event. it seems like you're good at thinking on your feet; talk about how you learned to program. go into details.

good luck in law school.

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