Solid Draft-harsh criticism expected

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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AggieF&F
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:20 am

Solid Draft-harsh criticism expected

Postby AggieF&F » Thu Aug 09, 2012 1:25 am

Thanks for the advice. It's time to get back to work
Last edited by AggieF&F on Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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06102016
Posts: 13466
Joined: Tue Oct 25, 2011 1:29 pm

Re: Solid Draft-harsh criticism expected

Postby 06102016 » Thu Aug 09, 2012 6:25 pm

..

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: Solid Draft-harsh criticism expected

Postby CanadianWolf » Thu Aug 09, 2012 7:27 pm

DELETE: ", as it tended to be," in the first paragraph.

DELETE & do not rewrite or replace the entire final paragraph.

Those two changes should improve your essay.
Overall, your PS is interesting & sincere.

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CorkBoard
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Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:05 pm

Re: Solid Draft-harsh criticism expected

Postby CorkBoard » Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:04 am

This topic is very vague and makes you come off as incredibly unstable, especially in the first two paragraphs. Not a good look. I don't know what it is you're trying to write about either.

Scrap it.




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