Anyone willing to read/critique my PS? (French student)

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estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Anyone willing to read/critique my PS? (French student)

Postby estellejade » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:19 pm

Hi everyone,

I am a French student living in Paris, France and have always lived there. I am 21. I learned English on my own and I still have some grammar and vocab issues. This is why I would really appreciate if anyone could read the first draft of my PS to correct my grammatical and vocabulary mistakes, and also to give me thoughts on it.

It wrote about two topics :
-why law and the steps that I have taken to become a lawyer someday (law school in France, internships...)
-why the US and the steps that I have taken to become fluent in English and to learn more about the American culture
I wrote separate paragraphs for each topic, but I linked them in my conclusion.

I feel like I don't go deep enough and that my PS seems a little childish... Also, maybe I should concentrate on the US travels part and forget about the "why law" part.

If anyone is willing to help me, please tell me and I will PM you my PS.

Thank you very much !

estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: Anyone willing to read/critique my PS? (French student)

Postby estellejade » Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:50 am

.
Last edited by estellejade on Tue Jul 03, 2012 7:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

User avatar
kwais
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 12:28 pm

Re: Anyone willing to read/critique my PS? (French student)

Postby kwais » Tue Jul 03, 2012 4:53 am

I'll read it

estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: Anyone willing to read/critique my PS? (French student)

Postby estellejade » Tue Jul 03, 2012 7:49 pm

I wrote a second draft thanks to the advices of two TLSers.
Anyone willing to read it and rip it apart?
Sorry to be so insisting, but as I am French, I don't know anyone that could be able to help me on this...
Thanks again!

User avatar
laura2011
Posts: 52
Joined: Wed Oct 12, 2011 3:49 pm

Re: Anyone willing to read/critique my PS? (French student)

Postby laura2011 » Mon Jul 16, 2012 1:07 am

I'd be happy to. Just PM me!




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