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(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

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Postby estellejade » Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:56 pm

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Last edited by estellejade on Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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dingbat
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Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby dingbat » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:47 am

Write about your international background and trans-national experiences.
That is far more impressive than an acting class and if you get it right, the admissions committee will love it - remember, having international reach is a good thing for schools.

It's ok to reference your legal work experience, as this shows a clear interest in the law, but that also appears on your resume, so try and work it in in the context of your international experiences

Write a diversity statement if it adds something.
In my case, my PS had nothing to do with my international background, so I wrote a diversity statement to add that extra information.
Remember, your application beyond the numbers is about information.
Your transcripts show you did your UG in Paris, your app will say you are a French national, and if your PS talks about your international background, then writing a diversity statement solely about that doesn't add anything.

In my case, I lived in 3 countries, but my transcripts didn't reflect that. My resume no longer lists jobs from long ago (I'm somewhat older) and my PS was about my specific goals (niche area), so the diversity statement was the only place to explain my international background.

What I'm getting at is, don't write a DS just for the sake of writing it. Write one if you feel that there is additional information not covered elsewhere

estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby estellejade » Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:58 pm

Hi,

Thank you very much for your answer.

Though I've travelled a lot through different countries, the only real international experience that I could write about are my travels to the United States. I have been there several times, on my own, in order to improve my English and to discover this country that fascinates me. I took English classes, went to a summer camp, lived with American families for a few weeks... Thanks to these experiences, my English has improved a lot and I feel comfortable studying in an English-speaking country (though I am not perfectly fluent yet). Moreover, I have a real passion for the United States, and I have always wanted to live and work there someday.

But there is absolutely nothing exceptional here, and I don't feel like I could write an entire PS based on those travels.

I am kind of lost, what do you all think? Does the acting classes PS seem too childish or uninteresting? Acting is also one of my passion.

I'll take any advice that I can get!

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dingbat
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Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby dingbat » Tue Jun 19, 2012 3:16 pm

It's not that it seems childish, just that it doesn't seem relative.
You're applying to a graduate school, to specifically study law. Unless you can tie your love for acting in somehow, it's as useless as someond saying they like to cook while applying for a job as an bus driver. (I hope that doesn't sound too mean)

What are your goals in life? What is your reason for going to law school?
(also, which schools do you want to attend and have you taken the LSAT yet?)

Your goals in your PS are as follows:
1 Prove you can write well (addressed no matter what you write)
2 Show them you really want to be a lawyer / go to law school
3 Tell them about something impressive that you did
4 Make them like you more than the next person with similar numbers

Talking about drama classes only covers #4
Talking about why a French person want to go to law school in the US and what the steps she has taken toward achieving that goal can address #2, 3 and 4

If it's important to you, feel free to talk about drama class, but put it in the context of law school
I put in a paragraph about my love of dogs, because I managed to make it relevant (animal welfare)

estellejade
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Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby estellejade » Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:16 pm

Thanks again for your help. I get your point and I think you're right. It's just that I've been reading so many personal statements about topics completely unrelated to law...

My goal is to become a lawyer. I entered law school in Paris right after high school (that's how it works here). I now have an undergraduate law degree and will earn a Master's degree next year. Concurrently, I am enrolled in a Common Law degree taught in English. I could take the bar exam in Paris and work as a lawyer here, which would probably be a lot quicker and easier. But I've always somewhat wanted to live and work in the United States, which is the main reason why I am applying to law school.

I haven't taken the LSAT yet, I will take it in October. Since I don't have a GPA either, I'm not sure what schools to aim for, but I probably won't go to law school if I can't get into a top 20-ish school.
I am in the top 5% of my class and I am a hard-worker. My LSAT score will play a big role so I'm going to try and score as high as possible.

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dingbat
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Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby dingbat » Tue Jun 19, 2012 7:59 pm

I hate to say it but many people don't write on topic because they don't really have something to say.

Forget GPA, what school you get into will depend almost entirely on your LSAT
Do you want to spend most of the rest of your life in the US, or do you just want to work here for a (few) years?
I know people who are lawyers in Europd but worked in the US for a year or two.

Once you have your LSAT let's discuss schools.
Top 20 is not a good way to look at it (at least two are less good than schools ranked closer to 30)

estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby estellejade » Tue Jun 19, 2012 8:47 pm

As for now, I'd like to settle down in the USA and spend most of my life there (but I might change my mind someday of course!)

On a different note and as you may have noticed, I do not write perfect English. Therefore, do you think I should use some company's services to edit my personal statement (mainly for grammar errors) ?

Again, thanks for your help.

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dingbat
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Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby dingbat » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:02 pm

estellejade wrote:As for now, I'd like to settle down in the USA and spend most of my life there (but I might change my mind someday of course!)

On a different note and as you may have noticed, I do not write perfect English. Therefore, do you think I should use some company's services to edit my personal statement (mainly for grammar errors) ?

Again, thanks for your help.

Rather than pay a service, ask for help from people you know.

Do you know where you want to live/work? This could affect your school choice

estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby estellejade » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:16 pm

I thought of asking my English professor and one of my American friends to edit my PS, but I don't wanna bother them too much. I also felt like a paid professional would look more deeply into it... I haven't written anything yet though, so I'll figure that out later :)

I would like to work in NYC. My top schools choices are Columbia, NYU and Cornell. I thought about Fordham too, but I still need to do more research about it. However, those schools are only a dream right now and I have to wait until October to know if they are reachable.

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franklyscarlet
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Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby franklyscarlet » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:20 pm

estellejade wrote:I thought of asking my English professor and one of my American friends to edit my PS, but I don't wanna bother them too much. I also felt like a paid professional would look more deeply into it... I haven't written anything yet though, so I'll figure that out later :)

I would like to work in NYC. My top schools choices are Columbia, NYU and Cornell. I thought about Fordham too, but I still need to do more research about it. However, those schools are only a dream right now and I have to wait until October to know if they are reachable.


Don't feel afraid to ask friends, I'm sure they would help. And although I'm not sure how you feel about strangers looking at your work, I know I usually edit PS's for people who ask nicely on these forums(I'm an English/ESL teacher), provided I'm not crazy busy, and I know a lot of people on TLS will do the same. No real need to pay for editing.

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dingbat
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Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby dingbat » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:31 pm

estellejade wrote:I also felt like a paid professional would look more deeply into it

No.
Some professionals will look more deeply, many won't.

That's a good choice of schools. I will be attending Fordham and will be able to answer any questions you might have about it.
It has a good reputation in NYC, but it's noticeably behind Columbia and NYU
Cornell is a good school, but it is in the middle of nowhere. Penn is better - it's in a real city, Philadelphia, and from there it's about 2 hours to NY and 2 hours to Washington DC

When you get your LSAT score, you should have a longer discussion on ideal target schools.

estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby estellejade » Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:44 pm

franklyscarlet wrote:Don't feel afraid to ask friends, I'm sure they would help. And although I'm not sure how you feel about strangers looking at your work, I know I usually edit PS's for people who ask nicely on these forums(I'm an English/ESL teacher), provided I'm not crazy busy, and I know a lot of people on TLS will do the same. No real need to pay for editing.


Thank you very much, I would really appreciate it! I haven't written anything yet, but once I do I'll PM you.


dingbat wrote:No.
Some professionals will look more deeply, many won't.

That's a good choice of schools. I will be attending Fordham and will be able to answer any questions you might have about it.
It has a good reputation in NYC, but it's noticeably behind Columbia and NYU
Cornell is a good school, but it is in the middle of nowhere. Penn is better - it's in a real city, Philadelphia, and from there it's about 2 hours to NY and 2 hours to Washington DC

When you get your LSAT score, you should have a longer discussion on ideal target schools.


Thanks again for your help. I'd love to learn more about Fordham once you start attending it.

estellejade
Posts: 13
Joined: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:01 pm

Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby estellejade » Mon Jul 02, 2012 3:13 pm

Hi,

I wrote the first draft of my PS. Would any of you be willing to read and critique it, and also to correct my grammatical and vocabulary mistakes?
Thank you very much!

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dingbat
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Re: PS topic: drama classes? [French girl]

Postby dingbat » Mon Jul 02, 2012 7:04 pm

go for it




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