Hoping to send off this week. Any comments welcomed:)

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ugobabe86
Posts: 57
Joined: Sun Jun 21, 2009 5:31 pm

Hoping to send off this week. Any comments welcomed:)

Postby ugobabe86 » Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:29 pm

I was attending the South Carolina Fast-a-thon, hosted by the Muslim Student Association. Sitting at my table, sipping water and cordially engaging those around me, I noticed a small child with a smile that lit up the room. Her name was Salee, and she had lost both her legs to a missile attack that also deprived her of a brother and a cousin. We gathered to hear Salee’s story and the plight of thousands of children like her that suffer the high cost of conflict.

Her story forced me to reflect on my own upbringing. Being raised in Nigeria, I was well aware of the corruption that ran rampant amid religious, ethnic, and tribal divisions. Witnessing the horrors of children held for ransom or subjected to all manners of abuses, these were the realities for many years of my life. Violence became ultimately normalized, and I went on without a single thought that things could be different and better. This was in the forefront of my mind when I met Salee’ I knew from then on I could no longer be comfortable with passivity.
I found an opportunity to be engaged and constructive as a court appointed advocate with C.A.S.A. of Richland County. I worked with children dealing with abuses and neglect. My first case involved a young girl named Brianna, who suffered from an emotional and mental disability. In addition to her disability, she had parents dealing with addiction to crack cocaine.

I was determined to be Brianna’s voice, speaking on her behalf.
The weight of responsibility hit me immediately, the fear I felt was palpable. Visiting her home for the first time, my knees wobbled and my heart raced. Speaking to her deflated my fear, because I had to soothe her fear; I knew I could have an impact on Brianna’s life for the better. The work involved finding the little victories in Brianna getting on the basketball team at her school and her father completing his rehab. Being in the courtroom representing her needs pushed me to be more direct and assertive to ensure that the end result benefited Brianna.

The fulfillment I felt as an advocate came from a combination of the emotional attachment and the belief that I was not just representing Brianna but the friends in Nigeria who didn’t have a voice and were disregarded. I also appreciated the precise nature of the law when it came to dealing with individuals who endangered the lives of children and the commitment of the lawyers, social workers and judges fighting for that voice.
I have gained an understanding about the value of advocacy, going below the surface to get to the heart of the child. This has steered me towards law school, where I hope to become better skilled at representing the needs of children like Brianna.

The University of South Carolina School of Law provides a very appealing combination of legal study and community service. During my undergraduate years, I enjoyed the feeling I had from being part of the greater Gamecock community. The close relationship that the law school has with C.A.S.A. of Richland County has encouraged me to apply to the law school. I hope to work with the Children’s Law Center as a student.

Visiting Professor Martin C. McWilliams, Jr. and sitting in on his Contracts I lecture. I felt welcomed by the students, many of whom spoke about their experiences and how much they loved the environment. I hope to translate all the education I will gain into actions with international organizations with a focus on policies and the enforcement of those policies going back to Nigeria to work with grassroots organizations that have grown in response to the plight of children suffering at the hands of family and strangers. I believe the University of South Carolina School of Law will provide me with the skills to be effective in my future career.

duckmoney
Posts: 886
Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 2:21 pm

Re: Hoping to send off this week. Any comments welcomed:)

Postby duckmoney » Tue Mar 20, 2012 7:31 pm

Didn't read, but it's almost April. If you haven't applied yet, good luck; if you don't do well, consider reapplying early next cycle. Early applicants typically have much better luck than late applicants.

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WannaGo
Posts: 39
Joined: Wed Mar 23, 2011 3:12 pm

Re: Hoping to send off this week. Any comments welcomed:)

Postby WannaGo » Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:53 pm

Argh :roll: duckmoney is right about applying early but that doesn't help your PS. So let's try to set you up for success with the time we have left. Review my edits below. I get the general gist of your PS but I think there's an opportunity to make it stronger with a few more drafts.


ugobabe86 wrote:I was attending the South Carolina Fast-a-thon, hosted by the Muslim Student Association. Sitting at my table, sipping water andcordially engaging with those around me when I noticed a small child with a smile that lit up the room. Her name was Salee, and she had lost both of her legs to a missile attack that also deprived her of a brother and a cousin. We gathered to hear Salee’s story and the plight of thousands of children like her that who (may consider revising to "pay the highest cost of conflict.")suffer the high cost of conflict.

Her story forced me to reflect on my own upbringing. Being raised in Nigeria, I was well aware of the where corruption that ran runs rampant amid religious, ethnic, and tribal divisions, I had personally witnessed Witnessing the horrors of children held for ransom or subjected to all manners of abuses. These were the realities for many years of my life of my childhood. Violence was became ultimately normalized, and I went on without a single thought that things could be different and or better. This was in the forefront of my mind when I met Salee’. I knew from then on I could no longer be comfortable with passivity.

I found an opportunity to be engaged and constructive work with abused and neglected children as a Court Appointed Special Advocate for C.A.S.A. of Richland County. My first case was involved a young girl namedBrianna, an who suffered froman emotionally and mentally disabled little girl. In addition to her disabilities, she had parents dealing with addiction to crackcocaine addicted parents that could not provide the supportive home she desperately needed and deserved.

I was determined to be Brianna’s voice, speaking on her behalf. The weight of responsibility hit me immediately. The fear I felt was palpable. Visiting her home for the first time, my knees wobbled and my heart raced. Speaking to her deflated my fear because I had to soothe her fear. I knew I could be thean positive impact on Brianna’s needed life for the better. The work involved finding the little victories; inBrianna getting onmaking the school basketball teamat her schooland her father completing his rehab. Being in the courtroomRepresenting her needs in the courtroom pushed me to be more direct and assertive to ensure that the best possible end results for her.benefited Brianna .

My Thefulfillment I felt as an advocate came from a combination of the emotional attachment and the belief that I was not just in representing Brianna, I was also giving a voice to my muted friends in Nigeria who didn’t have a voice and were disregarded. I alsoappreciated the precise nature of the law for those when it came to dealing with individualswho endangered the lives of children and the commitment of the lawyers, social workers and judges fighting for that voice. I have gained an understanding about the appreciation for the value of advocacy, going below the surface to get to the heart of the child. This has steered me towards law school, where I hope to become better skilled at representing the needs of children like Brianna.

The University of South Carolina School of Law provides an very appealing combination of legal study and community service. During my undergraduate years, I enjoyed the feeling I had from being part of the greater Gamecock community. The close relationship that the law school has with C.A.S.A. of Richland County has encouraged me to apply to the law school. I hope to work with the Children’s Law Center as a student.

When visiting Professor Martin C. McWilliams, Jr. and sitting in on his Contracts I lecture, I felt welcomed by the students, many of whom spoke about their experiences and how much they loved the academic environment. I hope to translate all the[color=#4000FF]my legal education I will gaininto action s with with a focus on advancing international policies that protect children with a special emphasis on supporting grassroots organizations in Nigeria. [/color]I believe the University of South Carolina School of Law will provide me with the skills to be effective in my future career.

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CorkBoard
Posts: 3216
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:05 pm

Re: Hoping to send off this week. Any comments welcomed:)

Postby CorkBoard » Thu Mar 22, 2012 6:26 pm

WannaGo wrote:Argh :roll: duckmoney is right about applying early but that doesn't help your PS. So let's try to set you up for success with the time we have left. Review my edits below. I get the general gist of your PS but I think there's an opportunity to make it stronger with a few more drafts.


ugobabe86 wrote:I was attending the South Carolina Fast-a-thon, hosted by the Muslim Student Association. Sitting at my table, sipping water andcordially engaging with those around me when I noticed a small child with a smile that lit up the room. Her name was Salee, and she had lost both of her legs to a missile attack that also deprived her of a brother and a cousin. We gathered to hear Salee’s story and the plight of thousands of children like her that who (may consider revising to "pay the highest cost of conflict.")suffer the high cost of conflict.

Her story forced me to reflect on my own upbringing. Being raised in Nigeria, I was well aware of the where corruption that ran runs rampant amid religious, ethnic, and tribal divisions, I had personally witnessed Witnessing the horrors of children held for ransom or subjected to all manners of abuses. These were the realities for many years of my life of my childhood. Violence was became ultimately normalized, and I went on without a single thought that things could be different and or better. This was in the forefront of my mind when I met Salee’. I knew from then on I could no longer be comfortable with passivity.

I found an opportunity to be engaged and constructive work with abused and neglected children as a Court Appointed Special Advocate for C.A.S.A. of Richland County. My first case was involved a young girl namedBrianna, an who suffered froman emotionally and mentally disabled little girl. In addition to her disabilities, she had parents dealing with addiction to crackcocaine addicted parents that could not provide the supportive home she desperately needed and deserved.

I was determined to be Brianna’s voice, speaking on her behalf. The weight of responsibility hit me immediately. The fear I felt was palpable. Visiting her home for the first time, my knees wobbled and my heart raced. Speaking to her deflated my fear because I had to soothe her fear. I knew I could be thean positive impact on Brianna’s needed life for the better. The work involved finding the little victories; inBrianna getting onmaking the school basketball teamat her schooland her father completing his rehab. Being in the courtroomRepresenting her needs in the courtroom pushed me to be more direct and assertive to ensure that the best possible end results for her.benefited Brianna .

My Thefulfillment I felt as an advocate came from a combination of the emotional attachment and the belief that I was not just in representing Brianna, I was also giving a voice to my muted friends in Nigeria who didn’t have a voice and were disregarded. I alsoappreciated the precise nature of the law for those when it came to dealing with individualswho endangered the lives of children and the commitment of the lawyers, social workers and judges fighting for that voice. I have gained an understanding about the appreciation for the value of advocacy, going below the surface to get to the heart of the child. This has steered me towards law school, where I hope to become better skilled at representing the needs of children like Brianna.

The University of South Carolina School of Law provides an very appealing combination of legal study and community service. During my undergraduate years, I enjoyed the feeling I had from being part of the greater Gamecock community. The close relationship that the law school has with C.A.S.A. of Richland County has encouraged me to apply to the law school. I hope to work with the Children’s Law Center as a student.

When visiting Professor Martin C. McWilliams, Jr. and sitting in on his Contracts I lecture, I felt welcomed by the students, many of whom spoke about their experiences and how much they loved the academic environment. I hope to translate all the[color=#4000FF]my legal education I will gaininto action s with with a focus on advancing international policies that protect children with a special emphasis on supporting grassroots organizations in Nigeria. [/color]I believe the University of South Carolina School of Law will provide me with the skills to be effective in my future career.

Posted in your other thread.




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