My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
baaron008
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:36 pm

My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby baaron008 » Fri Mar 02, 2012 3:05 pm

Taken down, PS submitted to law schools.
Last edited by baaron008 on Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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NomNom
Posts: 171
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2011 1:33 pm

Re: My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby NomNom » Sun Mar 04, 2012 1:49 pm

Your story is good...

Your sentence structure, grammar and spelling are not. Some glaring things are the very first sentence. Did you do the minimal spell check? Why capitalize "panic disorder" one place and not in others?

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jrthor10
Posts: 364
Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:33 am

Re: My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby jrthor10 » Sun Mar 04, 2012 2:00 pm

I like most of it--not fond of the part about Sam's Club. I would rather read about how overcoming and dealing with your panic disorder has made you more ready for law school, instead of a small blurb about a job at Sam's Club.

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Jsa725
Posts: 2003
Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:20 pm

Re: My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby Jsa725 » Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:56 pm

.
Last edited by Jsa725 on Fri May 31, 2013 12:32 am, edited 1 time in total.

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CorkBoard
Posts: 3216
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2011 6:05 pm

Re: My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby CorkBoard » Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:43 pm

Axe the sam's club stuff, it's not as compelling as some of the other stuff you've mentioned. My edits are in bold.

Removed

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NomNom
Posts: 171
Joined: Sat Sep 10, 2011 1:33 pm

Re: My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby NomNom » Mon Mar 05, 2012 10:45 am

Corkboard made good edits.

baaron008
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:36 pm

Re: My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby baaron008 » Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:29 pm

ghjghjghj
Last edited by baaron008 on Mon Dec 22, 2014 7:00 pm, edited 4 times in total.

baaron008
Posts: 35
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2011 3:36 pm

Re: My New Personal Statement - Please Critique

Postby baaron008 » Wed Mar 07, 2012 12:41 pm

ghjghj




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