ps

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
kemaeng
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:18 pm

ps

Postby kemaeng » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:17 pm

.
Last edited by kemaeng on Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: DUI and Weed arrest

Postby CanadianWolf » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:23 pm

"I completed", not "I have taken".

"underage", not "under age".

"It", not "I was dismissed".

DELETE: The last two sentences of the second paragraph.
Last edited by CanadianWolf on Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

mtyler19
Posts: 459
Joined: Tue Sep 06, 2011 10:06 pm

Re: DUI and Weed arrest

Postby mtyler19 » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:26 pm

kemaeng wrote: Ever since the incident, I have never drove behind the wheel under the influence.


I don't really know how to fix this sentence but if you want to keep "ever since the incident" it should be "I have not driven..."
I think I'd word it differently, like "I havent driven under the influence since."
or just take it out, because if you had you most likely would have two DUIs
Last edited by mtyler19 on Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

kemaeng
Posts: 10
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:18 pm

Re: DUI and Weed arrest

Postby kemaeng » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:28 pm

CanadianWolf wrote:"underage", not "under age".

"It", not "I was dismissed".

DELETE: The last two sentences of the second paragraph.



Thanks for the tip. If I do delete the last two sentences of the second paragraph, how am I to show what I have learned?

CanadianWolf
Posts: 10439
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm

Re: DUI and Weed arrest

Postby CanadianWolf » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:29 pm

As written, your addendum suggests that you have graduated from alcohol to marijuana.

User avatar
T00L
Posts: 600
Joined: Fri Oct 28, 2011 3:35 pm

Re: DUI and Weed arrest

Postby T00L » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:29 pm

kemaeng wrote:hello. I have an embarrassing addendum that I am obligated to disclose. Please view and tell me what you think...

In August of 2005 I was arrested for under age DUI in the state of New Jersey. I have taken a 12 hours Alcohol Education Class and served a 150 hours of community service in a public library. The decision to drink under the legal age and drive is amongst the worst of my life. Ever since the incident, I have never drove behind the wheel under the influence.

In May of 2011 I was arrested for possession of Marijuana. I was dismissed on February 21, 2012. My poor decision to engage in this reckless action will daunt me for years to come. Even though I haven’t paid any fines or was placed on probation, I made a commitment to inform many people around me to never make the mistakes that I have made.


Were you high when you wrote this?

User avatar
chem
Posts: 867
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 8:14 pm

Re: DUI and Weed arrest

Postby chem » Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:33 pm

kemaeng wrote:
CanadianWolf wrote:"underage", not "under age".

"It", not "I was dismissed".

DELETE: The last two sentences of the second paragraph.



Thanks for the tip. If I do delete the last two sentences of the second paragraph, how am I to show what I have learned?


Delete all but the first two sentences of each paragraph really. Law schools don't care, as long as there isnt a long string of repeat offenses. They just want you to disclose




Return to “Law School Personal Statements”

Who is online

The online users are hidden on this forum.