An embarrassing addendum

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tmplge
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An embarrassing addendum

Postby tmplge » Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:59 pm

ADDENDUM
Last edited by tmplge on Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

062914123
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby 062914123 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:02 pm

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Last edited by 062914123 on Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

03121202698008
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby 03121202698008 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:02 pm

Not bad but too much information.

During my second year of college I made a stupid decision and as a result was charged with... In exchange for a no contest plea... This charge was expunged in...due to... I completed the required community service and have maintained a clean record since...

03121202698008
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby 03121202698008 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:03 pm

bee wrote:
Maybe I'm not understanding correctly, but your prior, embarrassing charge was expunged i.e. the schools won't be able to see it, but you're writing an addendum exposing it anyways? Is this in the interest of full disclosure? I'm a 0L, but I thought you only had to talk about what was actually on your record.


Many schools ask about expunged records. Only a few states prohibit this. The bar also asks for them for C&F.

E.g.
Columbia wrote:16a. Have you ever, either as a juvenile or an adult, been convicted of a crime other than minor traffic violations? This should include matters that have been expunged or subject to a diversionary program.
Last edited by 03121202698008 on Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

062914123
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby 062914123 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:04 pm

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Last edited by 062914123 on Sun Jun 29, 2014 7:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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tmplge
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby tmplge » Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:26 pm

Thanks everyone. I was thinking I may not be revealing enough information and worried about having to go more in depth. The schools I am applying to specifically ask if I have ever been charged with a crime other than driving infractions including any and all expunged priors.

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BaiAilian2013
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby BaiAilian2013 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 8:46 pm

tmplge wrote:A bit embarrassing but here goes anyway...



ADDENDUM

On September 30 of 2004 during my second year of college I was arrested for engaging in the solicitation of an undercover officer. Charges were reduced to misdemeanor trespassing and I plead no-contest. Slightly over a year following the plea, early expungement of the charge was granted by the judge due in part to my clean record as well as school and community involvement.

I wanted to leave this shameful blemish in my life behind me. Due to circumstances in my life during this time including the death of my grandmother and finals I accepted a reduced charge. A senseless and foolish act during my youth and in my first years of college changed my life thereafter.

This experience drastically changed me and since then I have significantly grown and matured. As part of my community service I was able to meet and work with disadvantaged individuals from the community at large which helped shape my interest in law and the possibility of influencing the lives of others in a positive manner. Following the incident I have retained a spotless record and have devoted my time not only to school and work but also working with local schools, at risk youth, and non-profit organizations.

Middle paragraph is a little confusing to me. Is it explaining why you plead no-contest? It's just confusing because it pops up after the reader thinks you're done talking about the plea. Also not clear what "a senseless ... thereafter" is doing there - is it a preview of the third paragraph? If so, you could probably leave that job to the third paragraph, because having it in the two different places made me think maybe it was two different points. I know it's common to use the last sentence of one paragraph to segue into the next one, but here, I dunno. Might be just me. Partially I think it's that "senseless and foolish" sets us up for it to be a bad change, but then in the next sentence we get "grown and matured" which are good changes, so you start second-guessing your assumption that the sentences are referring to the same thing.

Also, I know the general rule in addenda is to be super concise, but then most addenda are about drugs and alcohol, where there's no mystery as to why the person was doing it. Here, so many questions are raised in the reader's mind - was this how you were supporting yourself, how long had you been doing it, I think it's natural to wonder if drugs were involved, etc. - that I wonder if admissions officers would feel a little safer if they had more information.

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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby 03121202698008 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:09 pm

BaiAilian2013 wrote:Also, I know the general rule in addenda is to be super concise, but then most addenda are about drugs and alcohol, where there's no mystery as to why the person was doing it. Here, so many questions are raised in the reader's mind - was this how you were supporting yourself, how long had you been doing it, I think it's natural to wonder if drugs were involved, etc. - that I wonder if admissions officers would feel a little safer if they had more information.


Huh? Doesn't solicitation usually mean you were hiring not blowing? At least in every jurisdiction I worked as a cop in... If OP was selling, this should be a PS and not an addendum.

Hence why I think little detail is ok. You were young, stupid, and horny. Leave it at that.

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BaiAilian2013
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby BaiAilian2013 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:16 pm

blowhard wrote:
BaiAilian2013 wrote:Also, I know the general rule in addenda is to be super concise, but then most addenda are about drugs and alcohol, where there's no mystery as to why the person was doing it. Here, so many questions are raised in the reader's mind - was this how you were supporting yourself, how long had you been doing it, I think it's natural to wonder if drugs were involved, etc. - that I wonder if admissions officers would feel a little safer if they had more information.


Huh? Doesn't solicitation usually mean you were hiring not blowing? At least in every jurisdiction I worked as a cop in... If OP was selling, this should be a PS and not an addendum.

Hence why I think little detail is ok. You were young, stupid, and horny. Leave it at that.

Ohhh, weird, I've only ever heard it used the other way. This post sure makes more sense if OP was doing the buying though, in which case yeah, no detail.

Out of curiosity, what's your (technical) word for what the prostitute was doing?

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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby 03121202698008 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:16 pm

BaiAilian2013 wrote:
blowhard wrote:
BaiAilian2013 wrote:Also, I know the general rule in addenda is to be super concise, but then most addenda are about drugs and alcohol, where there's no mystery as to why the person was doing it. Here, so many questions are raised in the reader's mind - was this how you were supporting yourself, how long had you been doing it, I think it's natural to wonder if drugs were involved, etc. - that I wonder if admissions officers would feel a little safer if they had more information.


Huh? Doesn't solicitation usually mean you were hiring not blowing? At least in every jurisdiction I worked as a cop in... If OP was selling, this should be a PS and not an addendum.

Hence why I think little detail is ok. You were young, stupid, and horny. Leave it at that.

Ohhh, weird, I've only ever heard it used the other way. This post sure makes more sense if OP was doing the buying though, in which case yeah, no detail.

Out of curiosity, what's your (technical) word for what the prostitute was doing?


Prostitution

E.g. Michigan http://www.garmokiste.com/legal-services/criminal-defense/the-difference-between-prostitution-and-solicitation-in-michigan/

OnceUponAMemo
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby OnceUponAMemo » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:24 pm

Please, please, please, add commas. Otherwise, the advice above is good advice.

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laxbrah420
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby laxbrah420 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:26 pm

Could you tell the whole story? Was that the first prostitute you were trying to get? How did you know where to find one? Was it via phone or did you roll your window down? How ghetto was the neighborhood? What was her (or his?) ethnicity? How far into the process did you make it? How much did you plan to spend? Did you want to just be blown, full intercourse, or something even more exotic? Do certain positions cost more than others? How convincing was the cop? What was she (he?) wearing? Did you tell your friends, "damn, it just didnt feel right --thought it was a cop and went anyways" or were you TOTALLY caught off guard? What did your parents say about the situation? How old were when you did this?

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BaiAilian2013
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby BaiAilian2013 » Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:34 pm

blowhard wrote:
BaiAilian2013 wrote:
blowhard wrote:
BaiAilian2013 wrote:Also, I know the general rule in addenda is to be super concise, but then most addenda are about drugs and alcohol, where there's no mystery as to why the person was doing it. Here, so many questions are raised in the reader's mind - was this how you were supporting yourself, how long had you been doing it, I think it's natural to wonder if drugs were involved, etc. - that I wonder if admissions officers would feel a little safer if they had more information.


Huh? Doesn't solicitation usually mean you were hiring not blowing? At least in every jurisdiction I worked as a cop in... If OP was selling, this should be a PS and not an addendum.

Hence why I think little detail is ok. You were young, stupid, and horny. Leave it at that.

Ohhh, weird, I've only ever heard it used the other way. This post sure makes more sense if OP was doing the buying though, in which case yeah, no detail.

Out of curiosity, what's your (technical) word for what the prostitute was doing?


Prostitution

E.g. Michigan http://www.garmokiste.com/legal-services/criminal-defense/the-difference-between-prostitution-and-solicitation-in-michigan/

Huh, did not know that. I guess the fact that people use them interchangeably explains why I learned it the wrong way (although I also think in British English it might legitimately mean both, which wouldn't help). Presumably admissions officers will either know or given the choice assume the correct usage, in which OP I'd say you're in the clear except for some of the long and bewildering sentences.

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tmplge
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby tmplge » Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:31 pm

Thanks for the help everyone. Its a skeleton in the closet that I've struggled with for a while. Shockingly I've never had a ticket, suspension from school, or other disciplinary actions. Just goes to show you how a small mistake can have such a huge impact,

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luuma
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby luuma » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:03 pm

laxbrah420 wrote:Could you tell the whole story? Was that the first prostitute you were trying to get? How did you know where to find one? Was it via phone or did you roll your window down? How ghetto was the neighborhood? What was her (or his?) ethnicity? How far into the process did you make it? How much did you plan to spend? Did you want to just be blown, full intercourse, or something even more exotic? Do certain positions cost more than others? How convincing was the cop? What was she (he?) wearing? Did you tell your friends, "damn, it just didnt feel right --thought it was a cop and went anyways" or were you TOTALLY caught off guard? What did your parents say about the situation? How old were when you did this?


lolololol.

he/she is right.. that is a bit too much info. if it was reduced to a misdemeanor, then... why start the addendum off like that? in fact, why don't you find out the schools policies on expunged charges and know your rights whether or not you have to disclose that information. otherwise it's like tattle-telling on yourself. if the bar asks for it later, then you tell them. but don't go around confessing your sins to all, if you don't have to.

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tmplge
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Re: An embarrassing addendum

Postby tmplge » Wed Mar 07, 2012 5:35 pm

luuma wrote:he/she is right.. that is a bit too much info. if it was reduced to a misdemeanor, then... why start the addendum off like that? in fact, why don't you find out the schools policies on expunged charges and know your rights whether or not you have to disclose that information. otherwise it's like tattle-telling on yourself. if the bar asks for it later, then you tell them. but don't go around confessing your sins to all, if you don't have to.



IDK where you are applying but for most schools in CA (including all I am applying to) the question reads something like this: Have you ever been arrested, charged, plead guilty or no contest to a crime including any and all expunged records (both felony and misdemeanor)?

Hence why I was asking for a critique of my addenda& not motive for writing it.




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