(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
3 posts • Page 1 of 1
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- Joined: Wed Jan 18, 2012 12:24 pm
Last edited by tundra on Wed Jan 18, 2012 9:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- Posts: 364
- Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:33 am
I like the yoga theme, but too many things going on at once. You jump from your education to your mother, without much of a transition (unless I missed it). Also, in your last paragraph you said you "maybe: want to better the community as a whole? I found that a little off putting. If you want to improve the community, then say it. If not, then don't say it.
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- Joined: Fri Jan 28, 2011 4:28 pm
Yoga is a fitness craze that consists of flexible people doing intricate poses and
chant chanting their way to good health.
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