Help with a topic

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
onlyNCforme
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2012 4:22 pm

Help with a topic

Postby onlyNCforme » Mon Jan 16, 2012 4:58 pm

I am an entrepreneurship major and my Dad is an entrepreneur so I have helped him with several ventures, mostly equestrian related (horse shows, breeding, etc.).

Which topic is best for a personal statement? Or could I work them together into one topic?

1. I am an equestrian and live on a farm (horses, mini donkeys, peacocks, dogs, chickens, etc.). In 2007 my Dad bought me a 4 year old Large Pony and I trained him (it took a lot of time and patience, he took a while to "grow up" mentally) got him leased to a kid in 2010. Leased again in 2011 to pay for my study abroad program.

2. I studied abroad last spring in a very small town in northern Italy

3. I spent my summer after 9th grade working on my Uncle's Thoroughbred racehorse farm. I would wake up at 4 AM, ride with the assistant trainer to the farm (40 min drive), be there by 5 AM. I cleaned stalls, fed, walked horses after they were exercised, learned how to medicate and wrap legs, bathed horses, rode my own horse, and kept record of all the horse training information. It was such an amazing learning experience. FYI I was not paid.

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20130312
Posts: 3842
Joined: Wed Nov 09, 2011 8:53 pm

Re: Help with a topic

Postby 20130312 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 5:05 pm

onlyNCforme wrote:I am an entrepreneurship major and my Dad is an entrepreneur so I have helped him with several ventures, mostly equestrian related (horse shows, breeding, etc.).

Which topic is best for a personal statement? Or could I work them together into one topic?

1. I am an equestrian and live on a farm (horses, mini donkeys, peacocks, dogs, chickens, etc.). In 2007 my Dad bought me a 4 year old Large Pony and I trained him (it took a lot of time and patience, he took a while to "grow up" mentally) got him leased to a kid in 2010. Leased again in 2011 to pay for my study abroad program.

2. I studied abroad last spring in a very small town in northern Italy

3. I spent my summer after 9th grade working on my Uncle's Thoroughbred racehorse farm. I would wake up at 4 AM, ride with the assistant trainer to the farm (40 min drive), be there by 5 AM. I cleaned stalls, fed, walked horses after they were exercised, learned how to medicate and wrap legs, bathed horses, rode my own horse, and kept record of all the horse training information. It was such an amazing learning experience. FYI I was not paid.


1. This is awesome
2. Eh. I can even tell you are less excited about this option compared to the other two
3. Very cool again

I think, once you get down to writing, you'll be able to work 1 and 3 together to teach the reader about something that you're passionate about. Should make for a solid PS. Good luck!

onlyNCforme
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jan 16, 2012 4:22 pm

Re: Help with a topic

Postby onlyNCforme » Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:43 pm

InGoodFaith wrote:
onlyNCforme wrote:I am an entrepreneurship major and my Dad is an entrepreneur so I have helped him with several ventures, mostly equestrian related (horse shows, breeding, etc.).

Which topic is best for a personal statement? Or could I work them together into one topic?

1. I am an equestrian and live on a farm (horses, mini donkeys, peacocks, dogs, chickens, etc.). In 2007 my Dad bought me a 4 year old Large Pony and I trained him (it took a lot of time and patience, he took a while to "grow up" mentally) got him leased to a kid in 2010. Leased again in 2011 to pay for my study abroad program.

2. I studied abroad last spring in a very small town in northern Italy

3. I spent my summer after 9th grade working on my Uncle's Thoroughbred racehorse farm. I would wake up at 4 AM, ride with the assistant trainer to the farm (40 min drive), be there by 5 AM. I cleaned stalls, fed, walked horses after they were exercised, learned how to medicate and wrap legs, bathed horses, rode my own horse, and kept record of all the horse training information. It was such an amazing learning experience. FYI I was not paid.


1. This is awesome
2. Eh. I can even tell you are less excited about this option compared to the other two
3. Very cool again

I think, once you get down to writing, you'll be able to work 1 and 3 together to teach the reader about something that you're passionate about. Should make for a solid PS. Good luck!


Let me start over by saying that studying abroad was a life changing experience. I made incredible connections with people in both Italy and all over the United States and traveled to the most amazing places. It was definitely not just a "party in Europe" semester that most people hear about. But I just have heard that writing about studying abroad in a personal statement is sort of cliche. Hence why I bring up my equestrian side...

I guess I will start with the summer working at the farm and how it taught me how to train a young pony on my own.

Thanks for any other advice!

imjustjoking22
Posts: 461
Joined: Fri Jun 10, 2011 9:46 am

Re: Help with a topic

Postby imjustjoking22 » Mon Jan 16, 2012 7:50 pm

I think you could make 1 or 3 good, but as topics they aren't the strongest...I've also been involved with horses much of my life, and wouldn't be that impressed just hearing about training a pony on your own/interning with a trainer (sorry)- so make sure you can make them compelling rather than trite (or maybe you have some other personal experiences that shaped you that you could incorporate?)




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